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emotionallychargedtowel · 4 months ago

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shuffled (sort of)

I was tagged for this by @lurkingshan and it looked like fun, so I made up a way to participate even though I don't listen to music on any of those services that people tend to use for these things. The closest I get is listening to things on youtube so I made a list of songs the YT algorithm suggested to me. That list was a bit long so I used a random number generator to pick ten. Well, I really hit paydirt. I couldn't have come up with a better list if I had chosen it all myself.

And then weeks went by and I sat on this nearly-finished post for no good reason! Now I'm dusting it off and getting it out of my drafts.

I'm never big on tagging people on these things, it makes me incredibly anxious. But after this much time has passed, I really can't imagine doing it. That said, if anyone reads this and feels inspired to do it too, please consider yourself tagged.

Orange Juice - I Can’t Help Myself

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One of the best tracks on my favorite Orange Juice album. This is a really good distillation of their sound that shows their influences really clearly (postpunk, classic soul, the Velvet Underground, Chic, the Buzzcocks, etc. etc.) while showing how they did something with them that's completely their own. It doesn't hurt that no one sounds quite like Edwyn Collins.

SZA - Ghost in the Machine

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For a couple of years now I've been trading song recommendations with a close friend of mine. In other words, we take turns giving each other a song to listen to. It's been great, in part because our tastes are pretty danged different (though with enough overlap to have common ground). I've found out about a lot of amazing stuff through her but I don't think there's a song that has stuck with me more from this project than Ghost in the Machine. This song just keeps giving me goosebumps after...it's been a year and change, I think.

Taemin - Criminal

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Years ago I asked my old internet friend Kate (who I've been interacting with since our livejournal days) about kpop. She has always been better than I am at keeping up with new music and I knew she knew a thing or two about it. She gave me a short list of songs to check out and Criminal was on it. It didn't quite click at first but it stuck in my brain somehow. I came back to it later and boom. It clicked big time. It reminds me of a few things. The la-la-la part definitely has a debt to Kylie Minogue's Can't Get You Out of My Head and the lead-up to the chorus reminds me of Roy Orbison's I Drove All Night. It has a retro quality that probably makes it more palatable to a middle-aged listener like myself but when I hear the synthpop tones of my childhood through a contemporary filter I don't get nostalgia so much as a distorted time-warp feeling (in a nice way).

Brave Girls - We Ride

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A while back I was emailing back and forth with another friend of mine who I talk to about music a lot--wow, I didn't know that was going to be such a theme here, but I love it--and we were talking about new and old East Asian pop genres. He made me a list of a few recent kpop and jpop songs that he thought were reminiscent of city pop, an 80s genre out of Japan that's a favorite of his. There were quite a few winners on that list but this song is the one I've listened to the most. There's another theme: sounds from my formative years filtered through a contemporary lens. I can see why my friend associated it with city pop. The combination of disco/funk elements (like that choppy Nile Rodgers guitar part) and soft pop (the harmonies, the synth strings) fits right into that category. These elements were everywhere when I was a kid but they didn't get put together in this way.

Tsunami - Be Like That

This song about a has-been ex-boyfriend is more relatable to me in my 40s than it was when I first heard it in my 20s, but that's how old Jenny Toomey was when she wrote it. I've never gotten super into Tsunami despite liking a couple of their songs quite a lot (this one, and Valentine, from their album Deep End). I should probably revisit them. They always had a way with washy guitars and interesting chords, and Jenny Toomey's voice is legendary for a reason. (The version of I Only Have Eyes for You that she recorded with Grenadine, her side project with Mark Robinson from Unrest and the drummer from the Eggs, makes really good use of that voice. It's fucking exquisite and literally gives me goosebumps.)

Spoon - Me and the Bean

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This one's a bit personal. I was active in the indie rock scene in Austin in the early 'aughts when Spoon was transitioning from their status as a cautionary tale of major label abandonment* into the period where they reached greater heights on an indie than that major label ever would have allowed. That scene wasn't very big so it's not surprising that in addition to Girls Can Tell-era Spoon being nearly omnipresent for a period of my life, I also have some personal connections there. Anyway, people seldom notice that this song is a cover. I never saw the Sidehackers, the band who originally performed the song (I'm not sure if they even managed to record it). But if this song ends up being what people remember most about them, it would make a respectable legacy. I don't know the later Spoon stuff as well as this era, but back then, there weren't a lot of Spoon originals that were as overtly emotional as this one. (You didn't typically hear a line like "I have your blood inside my heart" in an original Spoon song.) Britt Daniel may not have written this, but he doesn't hold back in his performance. So I always appreciated how it balanced out the more emotionally reserved style of the other songs on Girls Can Tell.

*They channeled the experience into songwriting to good effect. "The Agony of Lafitte," about the A&R guy that signed them to Elektra before the label screwed them over, is probably my favorite Spoon song.

the Chills - Pink Frost

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I feel like so much has been written about this song that there isn't much point trying to say anything about it. It has a truly important place in the history of New Zealand indie music, and the events surrounding it are pretty interesting. But mostly it's just a really well-crafted piece of dark, sneakily poppy post-postpunk. Among people my age with similar tastes to mine, I can't think of a song that ended up on more mixtapes. (Though a friend of mine always used to say he regretted that he couldn't really put it on mixtapes for girls he was interested in because of the whole murdered girlfriend aspect of it.)

Veronica Falls - Misery

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This song is obscenely catchy. It only takes one listen to get me singing it to myself in the kitchen for months. It's pretty fun to sing to oneself, in the kitchen or otherwise, but I'm sure it would be a million times more so if you could reproduce the harmonies with a partner. Veronica Falls really are unparalleled in the harmony department, and it's even more enjoyable because they usually use those pretty harmonies to sing about morbid, depressing things. And that juxtaposition never feels like a schtick to me, which it easily could in the wrong hands.

Bolbbalgan4 - Dream

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I've gotten into quite a few songs because they were featured on kdramas, but this is the only song where it happened the other way around—I liked it first, then watched Hwarang because of it. There was a video for it on youtube with clips from the series and the song made the show seem more interesting. Not to imply anything negative about the series, I think there's a lot to be said for it. But it was this song that made me want to watch it. I love this kind of super emotional kpop song that's so plentiful in kdramas. Maybe it's because during the decades when rock music was de facto banned in South Korea the country's dominant genre was the ballad. Maybe it's because of that particular brand of despair that kdramas excel at so much, coming up in a slightly different setting. This type of song is just more emotional in a certain way that any other genre I've run across. And this particularly example is, to my mind, the pièce de résistance.

Shearwater - Breaking the Yearlings

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This is one of the highlights of Animal Life, which is my favorite Shearwater album. It took me a while to warm up to Shearwater. The thing that really sold me on them was going on a whim to see Jonathan Meiburg play a solo acoustic set in front of a tiny audience at the Cactus Cafe. I think maybe some friends of mine opened for him or something, because something must have gotten me in the door. I ended up being really glad I went. Meiburg's set was downright mesmerizing, and I was sold on Shearwater from that point on. This particular song gets in my head a lot because the washing machine in my building puts out this one repetitive tone when you're starting a load of clothes that is really close to the opening notes of this song.

#music meme thing #bolbbalgan4 #taemin #shearwater #tsunami the band #veronica falls #the chills #spoon the band #orange juice the band #brave girls #sza

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howyoustudythestars · 2 years ago

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My predictions for Coco Moon

It's been a while since I made an original Owl City-themed post on this blog. But with Coco Moon dropping in a few weeks, I figured now would be a good time to talk about my predictions for the tracklist, so I can then see how right I am once it's out.

Now, there will be some spoilers for things Adam hasn't officially announced but have been gleaned from reliable sources. So, if you want to be surprised, stop reading this post now. But if you're curious, click below to read on!

This is your last chance. Spoilers are ahead.

Okay, you have been warned!

Someone on the Owl City Discord discovered that ASCAP added 11 songs to their database, including some confirmed to be on the new album. With the album confirmed to have 11 songs, the titles are (likely) now known. The order, however, is not. Furthermore, we only know details about two songs: One from its description on owlcitymusic.com, and the other from analyzing a snippet on the guessed pre-save link for the album.

Well, before I go into details about what I think each song is about, I want to share with you what I think the tracklist is, in the order I think they will appear on the album:

Under the Circus Lights

Learn How to Surf

Adam, Check Please

The Tornado

Vitamin Sea

Field Notes

Sons of Thunder

Dinosaur Park

My Muse

The Meadow Lark

Kelly Time

As I said, these titles aren't 100% confirmed, and this is the order I foresee them being in based on what I think each song is about. So, what do I think each song is about?

I think Under the Circus Lights is the opening track for a couple of reasons. First, the coordinates to a circus-themed museum in Florida were in the first teaser posted to Instagram. Of the four teasers posted, this is the only one I think lifts the teaser audio from the song the coordinates are teasing. I could see a circus-themed, score-styled opening to the song before transitioning into something more classic Owl City synthpop. Lyrically, I predict it will be an autobiographical song about the first time Adam, as a child, went to the circus. It will be about the awe, wonder, and imagination it instilled in him, and I think the lyrics will be more dreamy than a typical autobiographical song. Think less like Adam, Check Please, and more like Be Brave.

The next song I think will be Learn How to Surf. This is the song that's teased on the pre-save link for the album that someone guessed. I could be wrong, but I think the intro to this song will be from this Instagram teaser (the coordinates relate to Vitamin Sea, though). As you can guess by the lyrics in the pre-save link, I think it's a metaphorical song comparing surfing to fighting through your struggles in life, and maybe even how to take your place in the world. Think Beautiful Times meets Michael W. Smith's Missing Person.

The next song after that is Adam, Check Please. We already have that as a single. It's about the first job Adam ever had, which was working in the frozen foods department of his local Hy-Vee store. In case you didn't know, Adam previously wrote about this in a blog post many years ago.

The next song after that is called The Torrnado. We don't have any audio snippets from this song, but we do have a description in the bio on the Owl City website:

Naming legendary film-score composer John Williams among his longtime influences, Young has embraced a certain thoughtful grandeur in the making of Coco Moon. To that end, songs like “The Tornado” set their ultravivid storytelling against a majestic sonic backdrop, ultimately lending a larger-than-life quality to the most intimate expression. “‘The Tornado’ came from wanting to invent a story rather than write something autobiographical, and it turned into a story of a kid who’s delivering papers when a horrible storm starts up and forces him to take cover so he won’t get swept away,” explains Young. Partly inspired by the childlike poetry of Shel Silverstein, the string-accented track slowly unfolds as a life-affirming epic, encompassing an entire movie’s worth of thrilling drama in just four-and-a-half minutes.

I foresee The Tornado being very much in the vein of a cinematic score, like the Adam Young Scores project or even Montana from Cinematic. I also think they're might be an occasional reference to The Wizard of Oz, seeing as Dorthy lands in Oz after "traveling through" a tornado. I could be wrong about that, though. If Oz is mentioned, I foresee it being in the context of fear. I expect ethereal lyrics like in Lucid Dream.

The next song I think will be Vitamin Sea. This is already a single. A music video will be premiering later tonight (or it already premiered, depending on when I post this). It's a dreamy song about wanting to go on a vacation. As I stated before, the coordinates in the "Take Me Back" Instagram teaser teased this song.

After this song, we have Field Notes. I predict that this is from this Instagram teaser (the coordinates are for Dinosaur Park, though). According to Wikipedia:

Fieldnotes refer to qualitative notes recorded by scientists or researchers in the course of field research, during or after their observation of a specific organism or phenomenon they are studying. The notes are intended to be read as evidence that gives meaning and aids in the understanding of the phenomenon. Fieldnotes allow researchers to access the subject and record what they observe in an unobtrusive manner.

This is common in biology, ecology, and psychology, just to name a few. I think this song is about the impact we can make on the world and how one person can make a difference. Given its title, I can see a lot of science puns and metaphors used throughout the song.

Sons of Thunder (which I think is the next song) will very likely be a religious song, given that "sons of thunder" are the names Jesus gave to his disciples James and John, who were brothers (Mark 3:17). I think this will be a story-based song, lifting the narrative from the Gospels directly. Unfortunately, I don't foresee it being more subjective like Galaxies or Meteor Shower, but I do hope that it isn't another dime a dozen worship or CCM song. I'm likely wrong in that department, unfortunately.

After that, I think we have Dinosaur Park. As I stated before, the coordinates are teased from the "Signs of Life" Instagram reel. The coordinates lead to an actual park in South Dakota called Dinosaur Park. However, I do think the last remaining Instagram teaser lifts its audio from this song (the coordinates for this reel, though, is for Kelly Time). I think it will be another narrative-based song, inspired by Jurrassic Park.

Then, we have My Muse. Many theorize this will be about Abbey, and I don't doubt for a second that this is at least partially true. However, I foresee this being a ballad about the ups and downs of Adam's love life. Figures like Anne-Marie and even Taylor Swift could be mentioned (maybe not by name), but I also think it will mention whoever Vanilla Twilight is about, as well as this blog post. Think something along the lines of, "You were never my muse, / But I dreamed that you were". (If Adam doesn't use that line, I definitely will in a future song of mine!) Of course, in traditional Owl City fashion, it will end on an optimistic note, looking at his life with Abbey now (who, if you didn't know, is now Adam's WIFE! Look it up on Minnesota's open records site if you don't believe me).

The penultimate song I think will be The Meadow Lark. I foresee this being a spiritual sequel to Cinematic's song House Wren. It will be a dreamy song about nature, including birds in a meadow. I think this will be heavily influenced on Adam's many nature-themed Instagram posts in July 2021 and beyond.

Finally, we have the closing song being Kelly Time. The coordinates in the "Unidentified" Instagram reel relate to this song, as the coordinates lead to the island in Fiji where Cast Away was filmed (and is exactly the same as it was in the 2022 Owl City ARG). This was the very first single for this album cycle, and I have a love-hate relationship with this song being the closer. Like, we already heard this song, and that's one of the reasons I didn't like the idea of Take It All Away and This Isn't the End being the closing song on their respective albums. (That, and I didn't want the album to end on a sad note, which I don't really like on any album to be honest.) Here, Kelly Time is at least hopeful. The main reason why I think this could be the closer is because of this line: "Well, you and me went on a journey / Full of tragedy and pain". That line and the whole vibe at the end of the song feels like this will be the closing moment of this whole album. Don't get me wrong: I will be presently surprised if this isn't the closing song on the album, but right now, I think this is where it appears on the track list.

As a thank you for those who read all the way through this long and rambling post, here's the snippet from Learn How to Surf from the pre-save link WITHOUT the fades (like I did with Vitamin Sea):

Like I said before, this is just my predictions and opinions. I could be 100% wrong about all of this. I am not Adam Young, nor do I know him personally. But I just thought this would be a cool exercise, and then, when Coco Moon comes out on March 24th, I can go back and see how right my predictions were! Thank you for reading!

#owl city #adam young #coco moon #hootowl

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frankbedbroken · 2 months ago

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frankcore september 2024 update!

ok let's see if we can make this come out at a reasonable time. so the two big-ish chunks of the tracklist this time around are firstly pop in many different flavors and sizes(?) and second a lot of emo and hardcore related stuff, which is not the most common sight in these lists as seen so far.

let's start off with the latter: first off, seminal post-hardcore band fugazi with a song off one of their first eps being a lot more direct than a lot of their following material; later on, a whole lot of emo in various iterations and styles kicking off with the extremely lo-fi and aggressive "la connotación psicoanalítica de raparse la cabeza" by shortlived chilean band conspiración autista, followed by the more mellow "fire engine red" by the (somewhat) obscure boys life with a more slacker-rock-inspired midwest sound. the playlist closes off with a bunch of emo-pop from hey mercedes (apparently a lot of people think the song sounds similar to check yes juliet by we the kings? maybe i'm just not familiar enough with that song apart from the chorus but i don't think i hear it?), taking back sunday (i'm aware that the so-called beef between them and brand new wasn't as big as it was made up to be, but in hindsight anything shading jesse lacey is very welcome lmao) and the anniversary (a lot more indietronica inspired with its 8-bit synths and what not in the chorus, it also has a cool back and forth with the male and female vocalists throughout the song, really nice stuff), and a post-hardcore / alt-rock crossover banger from make good your escape, a song that's apparently featured on a burnout game (i found it through a list on rym hehe) that has extremely satisfying guitar tones and drumwork, it even manages to make the guitar solo section sound good to me which is something that i almost never care for, props!

as for the pop, i want to start off by mentioning two songs from my home country! first, twee synthpop duo siamesa with a song that in a way reminds me of some of the more tranquil moments on something like javiera mena's esquemas juveniles (cámara lenta specifically comes to mind), it (and the album as a whole) has the naivety and sweetness you'd expect from twee in terms of sound but with a slightly more pessimistic and sarcastic edge to the lyricism, all the while still managing to maintain some of the innocent qualities signature to the genre as a whole, pretty compelling stuff overall imo. and second, though not less important, my friends' band second single! a lot janglier and more upbeat when compared to the previous one, and it's probably my favourite song i've heard from them so far. however, i would be amiss if i didn't mention the fact that i actually show up in the music video for this song! essentially since i've been their number one dickrider for the year+ they've been in the scene and i'm pretty much always around, they asked me if i was down to have my own little "subplot" of sorts in the mv which i of course accepted. i have a few gripes about how i did in terms of performance (lmao) but it's whatever, video itself is very good (un saludo al tío diego y a la tía clara), watch it and listen to it NOW!

following with other styles of pop, pairing up well with the previously mentioned track (although it might be a bit of a jump in terms of bpm, god knows this month was a bit of a mess to sort through), the jangly and cheerful cath carroll from british band unrest, yet another band i've found through friends' recommendations over the past year. elsewhere, you can see examples of the glitchier side of altr&b and pop with tracks from lapsung (emphasis on the glitch with this one, but it also has very brooding atmospheres and hard-edged industrial sound stylings here and there), oklou (a very welcome comeback with a track that sounds like walking up to the gates of heaven, hopefully a sign of a new project in the way? pretty please?), twigs (ok, this one's not suuuper glitchy per se, if anything it has more of a classic trance influence, courtesy of electronic dance music deconstructor (?) / trance pointillist (??) koreless, apparently other tracks that twigs previewed for the album are even better than this one so hype is through the roof as of right now) and jane remover (haven't really been keeping tabs on what she's been up to lately but this track really stood out with its surprising influences from cumbia and guaracha as put through a modern edm lens). on the other hand, in the form of slightly more conventional r&b stylings, we've got british girl group flo, which i actually haven't heard much of and considering how good this track is perhaps i should get more hip to them.

we've also got some electropop tracks here, with some of them being very inspired by the sounds of pop and electro house during the 2000s, those being no comma by slayyyter (apparently a very eagerly awaited track for fans of her, had never heard about it before but it's incredibly catchy and hard-hitting) and flop by bassvictim (somewhat part of the whole electroclash / indie sleaze / whatever revivalism movement of acts like snow strippers and the dare, though i personally prefer this one track to most of what i've heard from both, incredibly catchy chorus and there's a wiley interpolation of all things here also). on the opposite end of the spectrum: ttyl, loossemble's newest comeback! these couple of years have pretty much solidified me as a kpop enjoyer, and this is just a very infectious and energetic tune from members of probably my favourite kpop group ever, obviously one would've preferred to not have "rizz me" as part of the lyrics, but oh well, it is the style at the time.

as for the rest: couple of tracks from the more experimental and industrial side of hip hop, first from sound collage / noise / weirdo electronic etc extraordinaire klein on her track exclusive, i am a sucker for an incessantly looping vocal sample and outlandish delivery, it would probably be the most offputting track here for many but i'm a fan for sure; later on we've got palestinian hip hop artist julmud bringing a somewhat short yet extremely effective track with its usage of pots-and-pans style distorted percussion and punchy vocal delivery complete with varied stylings and effects, definitely a scene i'm unfortunately unfamiliar with that i should pay more attention to; and finally, newest single from elucid, half of the abstract hip hop power duo armand hammer, showcasing incredible lyrical skill and delivery over this pummeling beat filled with industrial percussion, super excited for the full project coming soon.

on the electronic side of things, we've got luvdub by the duo new york, which is a project i was mostly unfamiliar with but they appear to go in a similar vein to acts like smerz or tirzah, in the sense of basing themselves on the sound of alternative r&b and taking it to its absolute limits through the usage of very minimal beats and softspoken delivery, the reason i didn't mention them earlier is because it's somewhat hard for me to even consider this pop or r&b at this point just because it has vocals, it almost sounds like something out of the autonomic / nonplus camp, feels very minimal dnb, very uk bass. speaking of the latter, we've also got one of james blake's first productions released on hemlock almost 15 years ago (insane) with an almost undecipherable vocal sample and very playful usage of synths and effects here and there. and then we've got to mention ride by bitch ass darius, an instantly memorable name which is why i feel like some of his work, specifically the follow the sound dj mix he did has reached a pretty big level of popularity in certain music circles, and with good reason: enveloping electro / ghettotech grooves, infectious and extremely memorable melodies and usage of vocal samples, perfectly designed for clubs, it just works very well.

finally, the outlier: heavy water / i'd rather by sleeping by grouper, from what i recall i haven't been the biggest fan of what i've heard from her so far, maybe i get too distracted to really pay attention to her music but this one mashup i heard a while back got me more into this song specifically, so perhaps i should give the one album i heard another shot. idk, this time around i was more willing to get washed away by the lo-fi vocals and the acoustic guitars being combined into this enveloping, tranquil piece.

that's it for the month, tube it!!

#im frank #music #frankcore 2024

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staticscreenwriting · 2 years ago

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Songbird || Eddie Munson

Summary: Eddie loves listening to his neighbour sing. So much so that it might save his life.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Reader

A/N: Spoilers for Season 4. All triggers that you might expect in a ST fanfic but nothing worse than in the show itself. This is a long one at almost 8k words. I also did not reread this because I am so tired, will go back tomorrow and check for errors.

Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.

And the songbirds are singing, Like they know the score And I love you, I love you, I love you Like never before And I wish you all the love in the world But most of all, I wish it from myself

A beaded curtain hangs by her window and sometimes when it’s open and the wind moves just right, it creates a soft little melody. Like tonight. With the sun dipping just behind the horizon and coloring the sky in vibrant shades of red and orange and pink.

Eddie is not gonna admit it to anyone, ever, but sometimes he just comes outside to sit on the steps leading up to his trailer, or on the picnic tables, and listen to the sounds coming from her room. Sometimes there’s nothing. Sometimes it’s just the beaded curtain clacking against the window. And sometimes, like tonight, it’s her voice singing softly into the night.

There’s something in her voice, so gentle, so kind. Like a warm hug. Like a whispered “I love you”. Not that he would know what that feels like.

He can’t explain it, and he sure as hell is not gonna even try. It’s an unexplainable magic and he relishes in the fact that some nights, he gets to feel that magic and keep it all to himself.

Some nights he gets a full-length concert, some nights she doesn't even make it through a whole song before life calls her back to reality. Like tonight.

Halfway through the second chorus of Landslide, she stops, the door of her trailer swinging open just a few seconds later.

She's carrying a trash bag in one hand and is dressed in jeans and a shirt that says in big yellow letters "Davy's Record Shack". She works there Tuesday to Thursday. Sells shitty synthpop records to rich kids with no taste and metal records to — well him. On the weekends though, that’s when she works at the Neon Barn. It belongs to the same guy who owns the shack and it’s a music venue for the uncool kids of Hawkins. And also the town drunks. Everyone who’s ever felt like they don’t belong finds themself at the Neon Barn at some point. There’s a sense of community between outsiders.

She works the ticket counter, the wardrobe, the merch table. She helps set up and take down. She’s everywhere, all at once.

“ Songbird!” he calls out as she is just about to walk back inside. Her eyes search the dark for the origin of the voice, and when they land on him she grants him a smile. Her smile, he thinks, puts the sun to shame. It’s warm and radiant and it makes his insides feel a little funny. Like someone replaced them with marshmallows. Or gummy bears.

“ Edward!”

“ You know, you’re the only one who gets to call me that,” he tells her as she approaches him and drops down on the picnic table next to him. She smells like vanilla. He thinks that might be his favorite smell.

“ Oh, I feel mighty special. “

“ You should! “

They share a laugh and for a second it feels like life isn’t a constant battle to stay above water but a gentle river for them to float along on.

“ How’s your mom? “

Her eyes lose that spark they had just a moment ago and he almost wants to punch himself in the face for ruining the mood. He knows it’s not an easy topic but he genuinely cares … and sometimes the filter between his head, his heart, and his mouth just doesn’t work as it should.

“ Oh you know, there’s good days and bad days, “ she replies and shrugs. “ We’re pushing through the bad ones and are grateful for the good ones.”

And despite the obvious pain in her eyes, she smiles. Because that’s the kind of person she is. Positive and grateful and kind and — wonderful.

“ If there’s anything I can do, let me know. “

It’s something people say when they just want to say something. A performative filler. Sometimes they mean it. Mostly they don’t.

Eddie talks a lot but he never says things that matter just to say them. If it’s something that matters, he means it. And fuck, he does mean those words. From the bottom of his tainted heart.

“ I know. Thank you, Eddie. I appreciate it. “

Sometimes he lets himself dream. Of an alternate dimension where he’s good enough for her.

In this universe, he’s all talk. Lots of barks, very little bite. And he’s alright with it. People think he’s a freak, and maybe he is, but who the fuck cares. He doesn’t like those people either so it’s a very mutual situation. But despite it all, he knows he’s not what she wants or needs. With everything going on in her life, the least she deserves is a nice man. One that loves her. One that is worthy of her love. One that can give her nice things.

Eddie knows that can not be him. He’s nice, sure. But he is not good. He makes money selling drugs to minors, stressed-out cheerleaders, and depressed jokes. He’s trying to graduate high school for the 3rd time now. And once he does, if he does, what then? He’s not gonna go to college. All that he’s good at doesn’t make a lot of money and things that make you money, he’s not very good at.

He’s never going to get out of Hawkins either. People like him are destined to be stuck here forever. She is too. But his situation is his own damn fault, the consequences of his actions. She is stuck here because she is too good of a person to leave.

So no, he will never be the man that is right for her. Doesn’t mean he can’t let himself dream every once in a while.

“ Sooo — I talked to Davy. “

Her words shake him from his thoughts.

"And what did he say? Oh god, he said no. Right? He said no. I knew it was a long shot. I —"

She grabs his hands as he wildly gestures around, holding them softly in hers.

"Stop rambling and let me talk," she chuckles and lets go of his hands. He wishes she'd hold on just a little longer.

"He actually said the complete opposite. One of the bands for the weekend dropped out and he said he was really impressed by your performance at the open mic a few months back soooo he'd like for you guys to fill in. If you're in."

"Oh, we're in!"

His words tumble from his lips at light night speed. There's no question in his mind. Someone wants his band to play, so they'll play. No doubt about it.

"You don't even know when it is," she replies, laughter swinging alongside her words.

"Doesn't matter. We'll be there."

"It's this Saturday. Doors open at 8. You guys will be on at 9 maybe 9:30. I'm there all day though so you can swing by whenever and set up and rehearse or whatever."

He wants to kiss her. Partially because she just gave him the best fucking news he's heard in a long time. And partially because she's — well she's her. She's his Songbird.

"You know what you should do?" Eddie asks and jumps off the picnic table, a mischievous, excited glimmer in his eyes.

"What's that?"

"Join us on stage and sing a song with us!"

She lets out an amused scoff as she too steps off the table and comes to stand next to a pacing Eddie.

"Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"I don't sing!"

"Uh — that's a lie!"

"Okay let me rephrase. I don't sing — in front of an audience."

Again he raises his eyebrows at her and lets a smirk play on his lips.

"That is also false! You sing for me."

The way she looks at him then, It makes him weak. All his bones are jelly and his organs have turned into fluff and feathers.

She put a spell on him with the first smile she ever granted him. And he wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

"I don't sing for you, Eddie. I sing despite knowing you're listening in," (Y/N) replies and comes to stand right next to him, resting her hands on his shoulders and making him stop in his tracks.

"And anyway — you're special. Goodnight Eddie."

She kisses him. Just on the cheek and it's but a flutter of a touch but she kisses him. If he were to die right now, he'd die a happy man.

In his daze, he's just about able to mumble a "Goodnight, Birdie" to her as the door of her trailer falls shut.

And now it's him and the dark and the melody of the beaded curtain echoing through the night.

There’s something calming about the Neon Barn in the middle of the day. Before the crowds arrive, before even Davy and the other employees show up. A calm that is loaded with an exciting static. A sizzle in the air. A tender silence in which she can let herself dream of a future that isn’t hers, one that can never be, but for a few moments she can get lost in it.

The piano is all hers, no audience, no judgment, no fear of failing. Just her and the music and the big empty venue filled with neon signs of all shapes and sizes. Turned off for now but a spectacle of lights later in the night.

Davy started collecting them a few years back and now the walls of the venue are adorned with colorful signs. Some are shaped like flamingos, champagne flutes, angel wings, and ocean waves. Butterflies, planets and rain clouds, and ice cream cones.

There are countless phrases and slogans and logos. “Girls girls girls” above the ladies' bathroom. Cheers. Good Vibes. Love. Tropicana.

“Believe in your dreams!”

“Stay wild!”

“This is the sign you’ve been looking for!”

Words of encouragement and support stare back at her from every wall and every corner. Dark and turned off. Doing a sad job at making her believe in every letter and hold onto them like they are anything but hollow words.

And maybe for a moment, they can mean something. What are dreams if not sweet imaginary places to travel to when the world is quiet?

Her fingers dance gently across the black and white keys and the tune of Cyndi Lauper's all through the night fills the room.

“All through the night I'll be awake and I'll be with you."

With closed eyes and her heart open wide, she gets lost in the song. If only life could be like this every day. No responsibility. No fear. No hardships.

Just this.

“Keep with me forward all through the night And once we start, the meter clicks And it goes running all through the night Until it ends, there is no end”

As her fingers play the last note, a clapping sounds from the side of the stage, making her eyes snap open in shock.

“ See? You do play for an audience.”

Eddie has that signature smirk on his face that lets you know that he is acutely aware that he is right. That he’s ticked this one off as a win for himself. And he should. Because he has a point. Eddie always has a point. He’s a bit of a clutz but he’s attentive and he can read people pretty well. And he’s insanely good at cheering people up when they’re down in the dumps. All the fucking way down. “ Fuuck, Eddie you almost gave me a heart attack. “

“ I’m sorry, that was not my intention,” he replies, his hands up in defeat. But the smile on his face and the glimmer in his eyes tells a different story. He’s not sorry. Not really. And when with everyone else it would be infuriating, with Eddie it’s mighty charming.

"Sure it wasn't. Anyway, I stand by what I said. I don't sing for an audience. And you don't count."

"No? Why not?"

"Cause we're friends. You wouldn't tell me if I sucked."

Eddie places a hand on his chest in mock offense. "Oh please. I would definitely tell you if you sucked. I tell my friends they suck all the time, actually."

"The D&D kids?"

"Yup. And the band."

There's something about Eddie she deeply admires. He's so unapologetically himself. People talk a lot of shit about him and he knows. They can be so fucking cruel. And yet he doesn't let them change him. He stays true to himself and she thinks that is incredibly brave.

And anyway, he's perfectly fine just the way he is. At least to her. Not that she'll ever let him know. She's not the kind of girl he needs. Baggage and issues and all. He deserves a nice girl who has her life figured out. Not a full-on mess. A work in progress.

"You can ask them, they'll testify. If my friends suck I have no problem letting them know. But you, Birdie," he grabs her hand and pulls her up on her feet, and guides her to the middle of the stage facing the empty venue.

"You don't suck. You could fill this place with people and if you sang for them, I know they'd all be enchanted by you."

Gently Eddie places his hands over her eyes and it occurs to her just how much she trusts this boy. She would rest her entire life in his hands if he asked her to. He already has her heart anyway.

"Imagine it. The whole crowd screaming and cheering for you. The electricity in the air. People singing along to your songs. Falling in love. With each other. With music. With life."

His lips brush the shell of her ear as he whispers those words to her, sending goosebumps up her entire body.

"And I'll be front row for every show cheering the loudest as you light up the room with your passion and your talent."

As he pulls his hands away from her eyes, she can see it. A future where she can be extraordinary. Where people cheer for her. And she can see his face smiling at her from the crowd.

If no one else will ever believe in her, Eddie will. Always. And that means everything. More than he will ever know.

"And if you don't feel like you're ready to light up the room yet, I'll light it up for you."

She doesn't even realize that he's left her side when he flips the switch that turns off the ceiling lights and turns on all of the neon signs dipping the room in a kaleidoscope of colors.

At that moment, she wants to kiss him so badly. All of her thoughts are consumed by him. Her heart is screaming at her. But her head won't let her. Her goddamn head, always getting in the way of things.

Say something. Anything. Everything.

"I ran into your uncle this morning when I left for work."

Yeah, mentioning family members, that's a surefire way to change the mood and get rid of the static sizzling between them.

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmmh said he'll come see you play tonight. Said he's very proud of you."

Almost bashfully, Eddie twirls a strand of his hair around his finger. She's noticed that about him a few times now. He's better at taking insults than compliments. They make him shy and dust his cheeks in hues of red. It's adorable. She thinks she might have to compliment him more often, just to see this side of him.

"Wayne's a good dude. I really — I appreciate everything he's done for me. He never makes me feel like I owe him anything."

"Because you don't. That's what you do for the people you love. You take care of them and you don't ask for anything in return."

"Yeah — yeah I guess."

He lets his eyes wander across the room as his hands nervously fumble with the rings that adorn his fingers. There’s a boyish edge to him right now. Like the kid that he was, comes back out for just a moment to overshadow this edgy persona he has built around himself lately. To most of Hawkins, High Eddie is a phantom, a story that someone told someone who told someone else who told them.

Not to her.

To her, he is more than he will ever know.

“ Hey uh — which one’s your favorite? “ he questions and gestures towards the signs adorning the walls.

“ My favorite sign? “

"Mmh. You must have one. So which one is it? The flamingo? The naked lady?"

"No," she laughs. Eddie seems to have this magic ability to make her smile, always. "I have two favorites actually. One is that one over there".

Her finger points towards the big red neon sign shaped like an anatomical heart.

"And the second one is a little weird but it just makes me laugh. It's that one."

Eddie's lips pull up into a smile as he reads the sign she pointed out to him.

"The best hot dog in New York?"

"Mmmh. I just think it's funny because we're not in New York and we don't sell hot dogs either. It's so random. It really shows that Davy just buys any sign he can get his hands on."

His moves are smooth and gangly at the same time, he has this certain kind of clumsy elegance that she can’t help but admire as he sits down and lets his legs dangle from the edge of the stage.

“ You know what I wanna know? “

“ What? “ she says as she drops down next to him. Their hands so close they’re almost touching.

“ How will people in New York know where to find the best Hot Dog? “

Their laughter fills the halls of the venue like a sweet song. Like a prayer and a promise. And when it stills, it makes room for something else. Something inexplicable. A sensation that starts in your toes and ends in the tip of your nose. The closest thing to magic a human being can ever experience. It’s scary and exciting all at once.

Chests taking deep breaths. Eyes staring into eyes. Eyes taking in every little detail of the other’s face. Eyes staring at lips.

His fingers softly caress the side of hers and her body really starts to work on autopilot when she links her pinky with his. It’s the most minuscule of touches but it holds so much meaning.

Slowly, they move closer, as if pulled together by an invisible force. She can feel the moment all over her body. Like tiny fireworks underneath her skin.

People say that the moment before a kiss is better than the kiss itself. She hopes this is the case, because if he’s going to kiss her now and his kiss is even better than this feeling? She might die. Killed by a single kiss. There’s a poetic tragedy in there somewhere, she’s sure of it.

“ (Y/N), can I — “

“ Yes. “

There’s a neon sign by the entrance, just where the wardrobe is and people can drop off their coats. It’s bright pink bubble letters and proclaims that “It is just a kiss. “

(Y/N) thinks there are different kinds of kisses in the world. Like everything on this earth, kisses are not black and white. They have all kinds of shades.

Kisses in the rain are blue.

Kisses after an argument are pink.

Kisses on sunkissed skin, in the middle of summer, the smell of sunscreen in your nose — those are bright yellow.

And kisses that you’ve waited for your whole life. Kisses that you know will fundamentally change the trajectory of your life from that point on? Those are vibrant red. Like fire. Like love.

Eddie’s hand cradles her face so gently as if he’s afraid of breaking her. Maybe he is. It’s not like she’s the picture of confidence at the moment either.

His nose touches hers, and his breath falls onto her lips.

He is so close.

So close.

“Yo — anyone here? I got your delivery.”

Her head falls in disappointment and for a second she rests in on his shoulder before clearing her throat and speaking up.

“ I uh — I should get that. That’s our supplier. You know to stock up on beverages for tonight. “

“ Yeaaaah. I — I should probably set up anyway.”

Kisses that you’ve waited for for so long and then they almost happen — but don’t? Those are gray.

2 weeks later

That stupid smiley. That stupid yellow neon sign of a smiley with that stupid grin and those ugly ass eyes.

It’s mocking her. “Look at me I’m all happy and smiling!” Disgusting. What does he know, he’s just a dumb sign.

Maybe she is being a bit harsh towards this inanimate object. But life is being — it’s too much right now.

Her heart is still fluttering in that bad kind of way. In the earth-shattering, life-ruining kind of way. Her hands have not stopped shaking since she turned on the tv that morning.

She’s glad Davy made her work the early shift today. Had he not, she would've seen this all herself. Not through a tv screen but through her bedroom window. The reporters, the police cars — the body.

A dead teenager. A dead teenager in Eddie’s trailer. And Eddie nowhere to be found. They haven’t released his name yet but it’s only a matter of time. Who else would they be looking into if not the guy living there? It all makes perfect sense to them.

Not to her though. Eddie isn’t that kind of person. Sure, he is loud and boisterous and revved up most of the time, but he isn’t a murderer. He’s gentle and sweet and respectful and funny.

He’s not a killer. Not her Eddie. Not the man she almost kissed 2 weeks ago.

The shrill ringing of the phone pulls her out of this spiral of misery and disbelief.

"The Neon Barn, this is (Y/N). Hello?"

"(Y/N) is Eddie with you?"

It's a boy on the other end of the line. His words are rushed and anxious. Just like she herself feels.

"Who is this?"

"Dustin."

"Henderson?"

She knows Dustin. Pretty much everyone does. Kid has the biggest mouth of anyone she's ever met. She tutored him a few years back and then there's the fact that Eddie seems to have a soft spot for the young boy and newest member of his D&D club. Something about outsiders sticking together.

"Yes!"

He's getting annoyed, she can tell.

"So have you seen Eddie?"

"No. I have no clue where he is. I'm worried though."

The kid is quiet for a moment, probably considering his next words. He sounds softer as he speaks up again. Like he understands.

"We're trying to find him and help him. Maybe — maybe he'll come by the barn at some point. I know he trusts you."

"God I hope so. Can you let me know when you find out anything new? Or if there's a way I can help."

"Sure! Hey, do you have a walkie-talkie around?"

She does. Davy insisted on getting a few of them last year. He said it was a way for the team to communicate. Really, it was just of them playing around.

"Yes."

He rambles off a frequency.

"Turn it on and to that channel and I promise you we will let you know if we have any news."

It calms her down a tiny little bit, to know other people are also on Eddie's side. That there are people ready to fight for him and have his back. Who know the real him. Soft and gentle and loving.

"And (Y/N), I need you to listen to me really carefully now," Dustin's voice cuts through the static of the walkie-talkie again. He sounds serious, determined. Not the way she is used to him sounding. He demands attention at that moment. And attention she will give.

"If anything weird happens, call us. Anything you can't explain like the lights going crazy, seeing things that shouldn't be there. If you feel like something is wrong — call us immediately."

Suddenly this all seems so much bigger than what happened at Eddie's.

And it's terrifying.

Sleep dust has gathered in the corner of Eddie's eyes. He's tired. Exhausted. But there's no way he can sleep right now. Not when he keeps seeing Chrissy's dead body whenever he closes his eyes. Mangled. Bloody. Butchered by some invisible entity.

His eyes find the walkie-talkie the gang left for him to communicate with them. He's glad they found him. Glad to have someone believe him. And yet, it's not like they know what to do next. It's a battle against time and fucking space apparently. There is no trial and error. An error means you die.

His fingers twitch with the longing to call her. His songbird. Henderson told him she was kind of informed. That she was worried about him. That she didn't believe he was a killer either. And that gives him a sense of hope. Only a flicker really but it's enough to keep him going.

"Call your girlfriend!" Henderson joked when he put the walkie into Eddie's hands earlier.

But what can he say? Hey sorry I disappeared, interdimensional demons killed a girl in my trailer and now everyone thinks I'm a murderer, no biggie?

Would she understand? Probably not. But would she believe him?

Eddie has never been a very selfish person. At least he doesn't think so. But at that moment — lost, alone, and scared, he thinks he might just allow himself to be a little selfish.

To hear her voice just for a little bit and make himself feel like things might be okay.

He presses the button once he switched to the right channel and takes a deep, shaky breath.

"Birdie?"

Maybe she won't even answer. Maybe she changed her mind. Maybe —

"Eddie?"

The fear in her voice is like a dagger straight to the heart.

"Eddie, where are you? Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help you? Please."

Just hearing her voice is all he needs from her right now. Hearing that despite everything, she knows the truth. She knows he didn't do this. Believes in the person he is. If everyone else in this world thinks he did this, so be it But not her. At least not her.

" I'm okay. I uh — just talk to me, okay?"

"Can I come see you?"

"No!"

He doesn't mean for it to sound so harsh but to get her even more involved in this mess than she already is, that's the last thing he wants. Just the idea of her getting hurt or worse, it kills him to think about.

"I don't want to put you in danger."

"I want to help. I told you, Eddie. That's what you do for your people. You take care of them, no questions asked."

Those were not her exact words. He remembers those, loud and clear. But the sentiment stays the same, he supposes.

"And that's what I'm doing. Taking care of you, so you don't put yourself in danger for me. I'm not gonna make you lie to the police."

"I would lie to the police for you."

No hesitation in her voice. No doubts or fears. It makes his heart beat just a little faster.

"I know. But I don't want you to. I'm okay, right now. And — the gang is gonna figure it out. They're really trying to help me."

"The gang," she half scoffs, half giggles. "Steve and a bunch of kids?"

She's not wrong. Quite honestly Steve Harrington and a bunch of freshmen were the last people he ever expected to come to his aid. Doesn't matter though, they have gone through this before. Or something like this at least. He's gonna take all the help and support he can get. Even if it comes from the most unlikely of allies.

"They seem to know what they're doing. I trust them."

"Do you not trust me?"

He hates the sadness in her tone. He hates to know that he is the reason why it's there.

"I trust you more than I trust any other person on this earth. Except for maybe my uncle. Don't ever doubt that. I just want you safe."

There's silence for a moment, just a crackle of static rushing through the walkie-talkie. For a second he thinks she hung up. But she wouldn't do that. Not her.

"Yeah alright. But if there's anything I can do, please tell me."

Eddie remembers playing one of his first-ever D&D campaigns. His companions, all dead, souls trapped in the lair of an evil demon wizard. He was the last one standing. It was on him to defeat evil and save his friends' souls. But I came with a price. He had to sacrifice himself.

He did. Killed the wizard, and freed the souls of his friends to return back to the land of the living. His character died a hero and so to stick to the dramatics of the game, he was given a hero's funeral. Flowers and banners and a choir singing to him as he was laid to rest.

Sometimes when he's alone in his room, listening to music, he thinks about what song he'd want people to play at his actual funeral. Maybe something minor. Quiet and peaceful and slow, to send him off gently. Or a loud rock epic with lots of guitar and drums. To commemorate the life he lived.

At that moment though, he's sure it's something else. If he was given the chance to hear one last song, it wouldn't matter what it was as long as she sang it to him

"Birdie?"

"Hhmm?"

"Can you sing for me?"

"Sing for you?". A little laugh falls from her lips and he can basically see the smile through the walkie. "What do you want me to sing?"

The other day, when things hadn't gone to shit yet, when he went to see her before his gig, his heart nearly combusted as he listened to her sing. It filled him with a warmth he wasn't familiar with. It was something special. It was something real.

"Sing that song I caught you singing at the barn the other day."

"Cyndi Lauper? You want me to sing Cyndi Lauper to you?"

And when usually he would no doubt tease her about her taste in music, right now is not the time. Right now is all for being honest and true and enjoying the little moments, the good ones.

"Yes, please."

Her soft voice cuts through the dark like a beacon of hope. Like something to believe in, to hold on to. If things work out, if they can clear his name, he's gonna tell her. He's gonna tell her everything. How much she means to him. How much he truly adores her. How much he loves her.

But not right now.

Now he lets himself relish in the magic of her voice and the way she makes the night feel a little less scary. A little less empty and a little less alone.

"All through the night I'll be awake and I'll be with you All through the night This precious time when time is new

All through the night today Knowin' that we feel the same without sayin'"

The barn is empty again, closed as no one is supposed to go out anyway. Only this time it doesn't feel comfortable or soothing. It feels cold and empty and scary.

She hasn't heard from Eddie all of today or yesterday. Her mind constantly wandering to the worst of scenarios. One more horrific than the last.

If only there was something she could do to help. If only there was a way to help.

Henderson doesn't answer his fucking Walkie either. What if something happened? But who could she possibly ask without giving away the kids or worse, giving away the fact that Eddie is still here in Hawkins?

Red hot rage fills her body, makes her chest feel tight, her throat burn, and her eyes water. Sadness and fear and anger all consume her. Wash over her like a wave threatening to pull her under.

In a flash of rage, her hands grab one of the glasses from the bar, throwing it at the wall in fury and making it shatter into a bunch of little pieces. Sometimes you gotta break stuff to make yourself feel less broken. Most of the time it leaves you feeling hollow instead though.

Tears of anger, sadness, of exhaustion threaten to roll down her cheeks and rest just at the edge of her waterline. This is all such a nightmare. And if she's feeling this way, she can't imagine what Eddie must feel like.

With shaking hands she drops to the floor, picking up the shards with careful precision so as to not cut herself.

Above her, a neon sign proudly exclaims "This is your happy place!" and (Y/N) has to suppress a scoff. It used to be. Just a few days ago. Now every place feels hollow and scary. She's not even supposed to be here right now. Strict order from the Police, go home and stay inside.

But home means staring straight at Eddie's trailer. There are still remnants of police tape. Tire marks still litter the ground from police cars and those damn reporters and nosey Hawkins residents.

Mom is doing fine so there's no reason for her to go home right now and torture herself.

"This is your happy — what the fuck?"

At first, she thinks she's imagined it, the blue hue of the light flickering on. Then it happens again. And again.

This is no trick of her imagination. The static buzz of the light fills the room as it lights up again. Only one letter this time.

H then E then L then P

HELP.

Though her rational thinking wants to believe this is just the electronics going crazy, she knows in her heart that something else is going on.

"What the fuck. What the fuck?!"

Lights flickering, spelling out words. What the hell is going on.

"If anything weird happens, call us. Anything you can't explain like the lights going crazy…"

Dustin's words from before flood her mind again. Lights going crazy!

"Please answer. Please answer."

She's sending silent prayers to the universe, to god, to whatever higher power might listen and have pity on her, as she rushes towards the backroom and grabs the walkie.

“ Henderson? Dustin can you hear me. Something is going on. Something scary!”

There’s a fear in her voice she’s never heard before. One laced with confusion and exhaustion.

“Come on you little genius, answer the damn walkie.”

For a moment, hope seems like a futile little dream. Like it’s completely out of reach when she receives nothing but silence.

And then the crackling sound of the walkie static meets her ears. "(Y/N)?"

"Dustin? The lights are talking to me!"

"What?"

"I know it sounds ridiculous, maybe I'm going mad. But the lights, the signs, they were going crazy. Lighting up and spelling words."

"(Y/N)," Dustin's voice once again holds that certain sense of authority and determination that makes him sound older than he is. "You're not crazy and it's not the signs talking to you — it's our friends."

She expected Dustin to walk in. Maybe Steve and Robin too. But she had definitely not counted on a bunch of freshmen and a middle schooler to come to her aid. And yet, by the determination painted on their faces, she feels like these kids are probably the best people to have around at that moment.

The girl, Max, lives two trailers over from hers and she always looks so infinitely sad. (Y/N) wonders if this whole “strange things happening situation” has anything to do with that. Or maybe it’s just the crushing weight of being a teenager. Both are entirely possible.

“ Okay, maybe you should sit down for this,” Dustin says and gently pushes against her shoulders making her plop down onto the desk chair in the back office. He doesn’t sound like a teenager then, more like an adult who has seen too much shit in his life. Like a teacher, even.

“ Dustin, what is going on? “

“ You know how people say Hawkins is cursed? ��

She nods her head in agreement. Everyone knows that saying but quite honestly until just a few days ago she thought it was just the ramble of old people who were unhappy with the consequences of their own actions and found it easier to blame it on a town than on themselves.

“ Well, it kind of is, but not like in a ghost movie or something. There’s another Hawkins, another world. Beneath this one. It mirrors ours but it’s different. Cold and dark and dangerous. And there are monsters. “

“ Monsters? “

Every fiber of her body tells her that this can’t be true. That he is telling a story, playing an elaborate prank on her. But there’s so much honesty in his eyes, in all of their eyes. There is no way these kids are lying, no matter how wild this story sounds.

“ Yeah, and sometimes the barriers between our worlds get broken. So that other word bleeds into ours and the monsters too. That’s what killed Chrissy. “

“ Why are the walls talking to me, Dustin? Am I next? “

He rapidly shakes his head “ No. I told you, that’s not the walls. It’s our friends. Steve and Robin and Nancy. And Eddie. “

“ What? “

“They went through a gate or they got sucked in or something, we’re not sure. But we’re pretty sure they ended up on the other side and this is them trying to communicate with us. It happened before, with lights. “

“ Can they hear us? “

The kids shrug their shoulders before Max nods her head in the direction of the main hall that holds all the signs. “Let’s try it. “

(Y/N)’s heart is still beating a million miles an hour as they all step out of the backroom.

“ Guys, can you hear us? Give us a sign, please! “ Dustin calls out, and not a second later the red YES of a sign that says “Yes, we’re open” lights up.

“ Holy shit. “

While (Y/N) feels like being stuck in a dream, a nightmare maybe, the kids don’t seem all that shocked. How many times have they done this? Oh god, what did they have to deal with before?

“ What happened? “

Different letters on different signs light up in succession.

S - T - U- C- K

Stuck!

“ They’re stuck in the Upside Down! “ one of the kids, she thinks his name is Lucas, exclaims.

“ The Upside Down? “

“ That’s what we call the other Hawkins. Because it’s kinda like our world only — “

“ Upside Down. “

“ Yeah. “

Dustin’s voice cuts through their conversation. “ You can’t get back to watergate? “

Another buzzing sounds from the lights, another series of letters.

G - U - A - R - D - E - D

Guarded.

“ Watergate is guarded. Uh, we think we might have a theory that can help with that. We think Watergate isn’t the only gate. That there’s a gate at every murder site. “

Murder site. The thought pulls (Y/N) back into the harsh reality of what is happening here. It’s not some fantastical adventure. People died. Actual real people were killed. By something not from this world. A real threat, with a surreal origin. People died and they still think Eddie did it.

It takes a moment for the answer to come and when it does so in the form of a question mark lighting up, Dustin lets out a groan of annoyance.

“Seriously? How many times do I have to be right on the money for you to trust me? “

More letters.

W - H - E - R - E

“ Where? If our theory is correct, there should be a gate at Eddie’s trailer where uh — where Chrissy died. “

A heavy silence settles over the room, all feeling a fraction of the fear and sadness that Eddie must feel. Everyone’s hearts hurting not only for themselves but for him too.

“ That’s not too far from here, if you guys can squeeze in I can take us in my car, “ (Y/N) says. And though she dreads going back to the trailer park, if it means she can help, if it means she can get Eddie back, then she won’t even hesitate.

“ Guys, meet us at Eddie’s! Do you think you can get there? “

Another YES.

The kids scatter, ready to grab their belongings and rush out of the venue, when the lights flare up again.

The best hot dog in New York lights up once. twice. three times.

And the spelling begins again.

“ E - D - D - I - E “

A second later the big anatomical heart dips the room in a red glow as it illuminates.

“ The hell is that? “ Dustin questions as he swings the backpack onto his back.

“ It’s a heart you dumbass, “ the young girl, Lucas' sister, replies without a shame in the world at her word choice.

“Eddie heart? “

But the spelling is not over as the hot dog sign lights up again.

“ B - I - R - D - I - E “

“ Eddie heart Birdie? What’s that supposed to mean? “ Max questions and if (Y/N) were to look at the kids' faces she’d see the same confusion reflected in all of them. She doesn’t look at them though, her eyes are trained on the sign. On the letters that just lit up to spell out a love confession to her. They don’t need to know what it means. She does. This was for her and it means — it means everything.

“ Birdie loves you too! “

She hopes he can hear her as she calls out into the dark. Because he needs to know. The future right now is so uncertain but one thing is so clear to her and that is the fact that life is too short not to tell people what they mean to you. If even interdimensional beings are working against you, there’s no time to wait. Not anymore. No longer.

When the heart lights up one last time, she knows. He heard every word.

Erica scrunches her face up in disgust as Dustin poked around the fleshy substance on the ceiling of Eddie’s trailer.

It’s an eerie feeling to know that this is where Chrissy died but there’s also a tangible excitement shared between the kids and (Y/N), knowing how close they are to freeing their friends from the Upside Down.

“ Just a little moooore “

With one last poke, Dustin rips open the gate, leaving a gaping hole where there should be the roof of the trailer. Though as they stare up into the gate, there is no darkness, no roof or sky, or anything you might expect. Staring back at them, are the faces of their friends.

(Y/N) is enchanted. Utterly bewitched by Eddie’s presence. While the kids prepare everything for a safe landing and the teens get ready to climb out of the Upside Down, her eyes are only on him. As if some magnetic force is pulling them together.

Robin half climbs, half falls through the gate first. A smile on her face as she lands and is greeted by the kids.

And then it’s Eddie's turn.

He lands on his stained mattress with a huff before Dustin reaches out his hand to pull him onto his feet. “ Glad to have you back, man. Now uh — maybe talk to your girl. She kinda helped save your life. “

“ Hey, Birdie. “

“ Eddie! “

Her arms are wrapped around him before he can even properly react. He feels cold and he smells — strange. Not bad, just unfamiliar. His ring-clad fingers brush over her hair softly, stroking her head in a soothing motion.

“ It’s alright, Birdie. We’re alright. “

She’s not sure if he is trying to reassure her or himself. All she knows is that he’s here, in her arms and that is all that matters.

“ Did you — did you mean what you said? “

He sounds so unsure, so shy, and anxious. How this man can have any doubt in her feelings, how he can think that she is anything but utterly and irrevocably in love with him, is beyond her.

“ Eddie, I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you since the day you moved in next door. “

“ Oh that’s good ‘cause I’m crazy about you. So crazy in fact that when I thought I was either gonna go to jail or die, my biggest regret was not telling you how much I love you. Like genuinely, in a way that I would call other people our age stupid for. But I do. I love you and I just thought you should know.“

“Oh, Eddie. You precious, crazy, wonderful boy.“ With gentle hands, she frames his face and musters him for any injuries, any wounds, or any signs of pain. “ You okay? “

“ I’m fine Birdie. “

“ You sure? “

“ I’m sure. “

“ Well, I guess in that case there’s nothing stopping you from kissing me. “

He grants her one of his smiles, the ones that are so honest and true. The ones that light up an entire room. He doesn’t smile like that a lot which makes the moment that more precious. She’s glad she can pull that smile from him. It might just be her favorite sight.

(Y/N) thinks there are different kinds of kisses in the world. Like everything on this earth, kisses are not black and white. They have all kinds of shades.

Kisses in the rain are blue.

Kisses after an argument are pink.

Kisses on sunkissed skin, in the middle of summer, the smell of sunscreen in your nose — those are bright yellow.

And kisses that you’ve waited for your whole life. Kisses that you know will fundamentally change the trajectory of your life from that point on? Those are vibrant red. Like fire. Like love.

The moment Eddie finally kisses her, a whole entire rainbow illuminates her from the inside. It’s all the colors all at once. Perfectly chaotic.

Whatever comes next is anything but certain but one thing is for sure, they’ll face it together. Because that’s what you do for the people you love.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson x female!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagine

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3wisellamas · 3 years ago

Text

Giant Sweet Cap’n Cakes Headcanon Masterpost!

(Fun fact, I thought most of these up while on one REALLY long hike. ^^; You can tell I fell for these three pretty hard.)

Music:

-I like the idea that, while the three all share a love of hip hop, glitch hop, electronic music in general, and a little lo-fi for chill times, they all have different tastes outside of those. (Meaning if you pass them the aux cord, they WILL argue!)

-Sweet's actually the biggest audiophile of the group, with by far the most eclectic tastes; he will literally put together playlists that go from dubstep to heavy metal to classical to rap to vaporwave to even country. The others don't really get it, but they're cool with whatever he puts on, and learn a lot of new music from him!

-He also owns an electric guitar, which he just plugs into himself to use as an amp and plays early in the morning to wake the others up if needed (he's the early riser and the other two are night owls...)

-Cap'n's definitely got a more narrow focus than the other two; he likes rap and also R&B, jazz, and even a little swing/electro swing. He's also been caught more than once listening to cheesy romantic pop songs, claiming he's just into them for their potential madamoizel-attracting uses but really he's just a sappy romantic.

-He can also rap, very well in fact, and gets Sweet to beatbox while he freestyles.

-Heck, he's just got a good singing voice in general, helped by having a built-in autotune, and dominates at karaoke!

-K_K also has a really broad range, but stays more towards the electronic end of the spectrum -- melodic dubstep, synthpop, disco, trance, chiptune, DnB, even occasionally puts on straight-up ambient spa music to chill out to (the only genre the other two will NOT tolerate.)

-K_K has also, in the past, set up entire mini-raves just by themselves, complete with glowsticks and everything, while Cap'n and Sweet were out doing whatever. They were...not pleased, when they got back, mostly because they weren't invited. All three got to have one together eventually though.

-Physical media is king in their shop; if it's not on a CD, cassette tape, or a vinyl record (or an 8-track, though they have to dig out their old player for it), they will refuse to play it, and might even ask you to leave. "MP3" is an extremely dirty word to them.

-(In fact, they don't get along too well with the MP3 player-headed robots elsewhere in the city.)

-They are indeed always listening to music on physical media as well -- K_K and Cap'n are their own CD players (though Cap'n's one of those models that's also got a built-in FM radio), while Sweet has a straight-up Walkman.

-(He's also the group's cassette champion, claiming his media of choice is superior to CDs because you can record music on BOTH sides of the tape! The other two just don't have the heart to point out that each side only holds half as much music as a CD, and you don't even have to rewind those...)

-Jury's still out on Hit Clips. Cap'n and Sweet think they're just toys, but K_K genuinely collects and appreciates them and treats them like actual music (it helps that they are only around four seconds long!)

-Believe it or not, the headphones are only decoration, all three actually just...listen to their music entirely within their own heads, though they can also switch to playing it externally on their speakers as well. Perks of being robots! Though, sometimes K_K has his internal volume up too high, and misses things that other people say because of it.

-Sweet also has an input port, and connects himself to his turntable to act as the speakers! The other two are WAY too embarrassed to ask if they can use it as well.

-Sweet can play almost any instrument you throw at him, as long as it's not a woodwind (Surprisingly, he can do brass, since those work on vibration rather than air!). He prefers his guitar or violin when he isn't spinning records on his turntable. Where the other two just enjoy music, he's the actual trained musician.

Voice headcanons:

-Sweet: Kind of deep, bass-y, lots of reverb, a slight tinny audio distortion to it like a low-quality recording that becomes much more pronounced when he gets upset or starts shouting. And since he's a speaker, you can literally feel the vibrations he makes when he's speaking!

-Cap'n: Scout from TF2. I am sorry, but I absolutely cannot get that out of my head for him. XD However, he's actually putting that voice on as an "accent" of sorts, his real voice is actually super autotune-y like K_K's, and it comes out whenever he gets flustered, his pitch only getting higher and higher as it gets worse...

-K_K: Pure autotune, he can just do whatever the hell he wants with his voice -- pitch, tone, whatever, and while he tends to keep it a little higher he can and does change it to fit his mood! He often has a completely different voice every day, but the others are used to it. He also just straight-up vocalizes sound effects (like, the kind that make you go "How did you just make that sound with your mouth?!") and can mimic other people perfectly (though the slight mechanical distortion does give it away). There are absolutely no rules when it comes to K_K's voice.

-They harmonize perfectly whenever they sing together!

Sweet:

-I like to think Sweet's actually the brains of the group; like, not SMART, he just holds their one collective braincell most often. He does any technical work when they're building stuff, like soldering circuits or the occasional programming, and even handles a lot of the actual business operations and pays the bills. The other two also like to follow his lead when it comes to rebellion plans, even if he’s not the official leader.

-That said, though? It's balanced out by him being rather hotheaded and having the shortest temper by a lot. There are REASONS why he's not usually out selling bagels with the others -- he's unfortunately prone to some more "extreme" sales tactics, like hurling half their stock at random passersby until they finally agree to buy some. On the plus side, he's always the first to step up to defend the gang from anything that dares to harm them, and is always on guard.

-He can also hold a heck of a grudge -- don't ever get on his bad side! Cap'n and K_K are mostly immune to this though, if he gets upset with them he works through it by the end of the day. It helps that they can all hug it out.

-He's a bit of a perfectionist, often working overtime to try and get everything they build exactly right. He can get really frustrated when things don't work out the way he plans, or when he can't make sense of a problem, or when Cap'n and K_K are goofing off instead of doing their part, and needs to go blast some loud music and blow off steam.

-He does have a really tough time keeping his balance, since his head is a bit heavier than the rest of his body, but he takes tripping over his own feet constantly in stride. The biggest problem he has is with dancing -- while he'll join in with the others on occasion, he can't match their more acrobatic moves and sticks more to actually PLAYING the music they're dancing to.

-He's also really, really unlucky, just in general. He actually considers the other two his good luck charms, since they help him out whenever he trips or gets into a bad spot!

-He's the fashionista of the group, surprisingly. It's difficult for him to find clothes that fit his body, so he tends to get a little creative with it and has a whole closet full of different stuff! And since Cap'n is roughly the same size they'll occasionally swap jackets.

Cap’n:

-Cap'n actually has managed to score a handful of dates with girls in the past! However, NONE of them went well, and only one actually made it to the second date (only to break up right in the middle of it), so he always ends up returning home heartbroken and in tears. Sweet and K_K, by this point just ready for it whenever they hear that he's going out that night, always dry him off before he shorts himself out, take him to bed and cuddle with him (platonically, I don't see them as brothers but I also don't see them as having that conversation until Cap'n's ready, which he clearly is NOT), remind him that it doesn't hurt forever and he isn't unlovable and that he'll find someone eventually, etc.

-They have sat him down multiple times to try and gently suggest to Cap'n that he might just not be into women? And that he’s actually turning them off by trying so hard? To which he's always just like "No, of course not. I'm straight. Love the ladies. Totally. Oh no they didn't catch me checkin' out that one dude earlier did they? Is that what this is about?!"

-(Basically, Cap'n is just a hopeless romantic in love with the idea of being in love, but is absolutely clueless as to how it works or what he actually wants, and his best buds are always there to catch him when he falls. ;v; )

-The glasses are prescription -- he's SUPER nearsighted, a hardware glitch he refuses to fix. Sometimes when he's working on something close up he'll take them off, panicking when he can't find them afterwards, only to have the others point out that they're just on his head. He’s also got non-tinted glasses, but you will not catch him DEAD wearing those unless it’s an absolute emergency.

-This dude is SUPREMELY insecure with himself. Like, his rather questionable fixation on romance aside, he basically runs off of others' validation, the "cool" persona he's spent much of his life building up being how he hides the fact that he isn't really sure who he is, or what he wants to do with his life, or what he's even good for -- the others have learned to check on him now and then whenever he hides away in the back of the shop, since he can slip into some pretty dark places when left alone to sulk. It took a long time for him to open up even to them to share his feelings, and sometimes still has doubts about whether they or anyone else really care about him as more than just The Smooth One...

-He's the only one of the three to actually enjoy the occasional silence, especially when he's trying to think, or whenever he's upset. So, his headphones also serve a dual purpose -- they're noise-cancelling!

-He's the video guy, carrying around a small camcorder and constantly trying to record the group's activities, to put together into music videos! He also just likes to record himself doing stupid stunts for posterity, though K_K just takes these and makes (affectionate) blooper reels.

-Cap'n is not his real name, similar to K_K. However, unlike K_K, he refuses to say what it is, just that it's embarrassing.

K_K:

-K_K has a bad habit of just completely zoning out when he gets into his music, getting completely lost in the groove and needing to be pulled back to reality. It's not a bad thing during jam sessions, but at work, or in the middle of a battle...not so much.

-He kind of needs to have some kind of music going at all times -- silence drives him absolutely CRAZY! Though, because he gets distracted by his own music, he then misses out on entire conversations, only tuning back in towards the end. Sometimes the other two have to repeat or summarize what they just said for him.

-He knows sign language, and taught the others to use it. They're able to communicate reasonably well no matter how loud their shop gets, or on days when K_K isn't able to form words properly (he's just shy, and even when he isn't he gets tongue-tied a LOT).

-He's easily the best dancer of the three, and uses his extendable body to get really creative with his moves! He even knows a little ballroom, somehow, which he'll pull out sometimes to make the others laugh.

-(Seriously, K_K CANNOT stand to see Sweet or Cap'n not smiling. He'll do anything to keep the group's spirits up, usually cracking jokes during a scrap project or doing little favors, and they appreciate all his efforts!)

-K_K has the WORST sleep cycle, ever. If you let him, he will stay up all night working or partying, finally going to bed at 6AM, and will then sleep until 6PM if the others don't wake him up at some point. If they know he was up really late they'll let him sleep in a little, but he's often pretty sleep-deprived and running solely on sugar and caffeine, which doesn't help his natural loopiness.

-He is a VERY physical guy. Seriously, he will just scoop up and hold Sweet or Cap'n like a cat every five minutes; at first they were just like "Oh. Okay. We're hugging now I guess," but after a while they got more used to it and even anticipate when K_K is going to do it. And he also initiates tons of snuggles and gives piggyback rides whenever one of his bandmates (usually Sweet) requests.

-K_K actually scrapbooks, collecting pictures and little mementos of places he and the others have gone and things they've done. After the library fountain is sealed, he pulls them out to show everyone else from Cyber City and reminisce about home.

-It's very hard to make K_K angry, since he tends to stay super chill and brushes off almost everything. But, on those very, very rare occasions when something does get under his metal outer casing, he'll go full-on silent treatment, not speaking to anyone for up to a week as he sulks and stomps around the junk shop, and even refuses to play any music! And no amount of sweets or hugs or cheering up will bring him out of it, either; the other two have learned to just wait him out and let him have his space, letting him come to them when he's finally ready to talk about it.

Misc:

-Though all three love everything sweet, K_K's the only one who really goes overboard with it, making whole meals out of candy. Sweet, ironically enough, actually prefers more salty/savory snacks, while the less is said about Cap'n's hot sauce addiction, the better.

-Okay, actually, I will say more about it. Cap'n loves spicy food in general, and literally drinks tabasco sauce right from the bottle. However, he's got a bad habit of daring himself to eat hotter and hotter stuff, ESPECIALLY if someone is watching, and can easily get in WAY over his head before begging for milk.

-They also all totally drink battery acid like Queen.

-Heck, being both Darkners and robots, they can really eat literally anything. Normal food, milk, oil, batteries, gallons of pure sugar, toothpaste, moss, glitter (NEVER let K_K get hold of any though, he gets lost in the sauce), broken glass, etc, and of course their own deep-fried CDs. Only thing they can't do is water, since, you know, robots.

-With a lot of the aesthetics of Cyber City being close to turn-of-the millennium and early 2000s (CDs and boomboxes, popup ads, wired mice, Queen theorized to be one of those see-through iMacs, EVERYTHING about Spamton), I like the idea that the boys DO NOT have smartphones, and if you handed them one they'd have no clue how to use it or what to do with it. But they do have cell phones: Sweet's got an old flip phone covered in stickers (courtesy of K_K), Cap'n splurged for one of those that slide open and with a camera (he set his background to a tiny, grainy photo of the three of them!), and K_K has one of those indestructible Nokia bricks, that Sweet got him after he kept breaking all his other ones. They can all text, but that's about as high-tech as they get.

-Same with tablets or newer computers in general, they might share one tiny netbook at most. Cap’n never remembers to log out of his Dark World dating profile, so the others will snoop or post embarrassing things to it.

-They're really, really durable, even without milk -- they're made of 90s plastic and electronics, so it takes a LOT to take one of them down! Plus, they regularly repair each other back at the shop (it took a LONG time for them to gain enough trust to physically open and work on each other), so as long as at least one's left to drag the other two to safety they'll be just fine.

-However, if they get splashed with water, caught in the rain, or worse, drowned, they will short out, or shut down on the spot to prevent damage. Once they completely dry out, though, they'll start right back up, no worse for wear. When only one of them gets waterlogged the other two will break out the hair dryers to dry them out faster, or even pop them into the oven in a pan of rice like an iPod that got dropped in the toilet...

Finally, backstory?

-Cap'n and K_K met first -- maybe both as new recruits to another, much less savory gang of music equipment robots, and bonded as a result of being put upon by the more established members (Cap'n probably even had to defend K_K more than once when his inattentiveness got him into trouble!) But, they both had enough one day, and decided to break off and form their own thing, making music and selling CD bagels to support themselves.

-Sweet, meanwhile, has the complete opposite background, coming from a rich and important family of musicians in Cyber City who regularly entertained Queen in her mansion (hence why he always used to get sweets from her!) But, he was kind of the black sheep, preferring his own style of music, and decided to strike out on his own as a street musician instead.

-They met when Cap'n and K_K accidentally set up to sell bagels on Sweet's usual corner, and he battled them to reclaim his turf. But, they were evenly-matched (even two-to-one; Sweet's definitely the strongest of the trio!), and impressed each other with both their fighting and musical skills, so Sweet decided to join their tiny group, and thus Sweet Cap'n Cakes was formed.

-After the whole situation with Queen is resolved, SCC turns their rebellion into an anti-DRM kind of thing? Nobody can hold back the music, man!

#deltarune #sweet cap'n cakes #deltarune sweet #deltarune cap'n #deltarune k_k #sweet #cap'n #k_k #emheadcanons

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t-ycho · 4 years ago

Text

Boxstep

The hum of dragonflies flitting above the river could even be heard above the cracks and rattles of far off gunfire from time to time; a nice little respite from the cacophony of rattling ether pipes.

Crow is revelling in the sounds of the river, feeling its calming effects wash over him as he sits on the riverbank, the late summer sun warming his skin. It was his one request for the end of this reconnaissance trip - to just stop and let his mind go quiet for a while.

But the best laid plans…

A few jarring notes float across the clearing, causing him to frown gently. He opens one eye to look to the small camp, trying to catch where the sound is coming from. He spots his companion, shaking out her cloak and humming along to her music.

Crow turns his head. "What are you listening to?"

"Just some classics."

He purses his lips and watches her as Andi begins to mouth the words. "It's a little…"

Her head snaps up to look directly at him. "A little what?"

"Repetitive."

Andi scoffs in mock disdain, moving to lay out both their freshly washed armour on the riverbank to dry. "You wouldn't know good music if it hit you upside the head."

Crow settles back, closing his eyes again, voice dripping with flat sarcasm. "I wouldn't, would I?"

"If you can't appreciate Blondie, we have nothing more to speak about." She shakes out one of Crow's gauntlets, purposely splashing him as best she can. His face screws up and slowly opens his eyes to squint at her.

"Blondie?"

"A band from before the Golden Age."

"How have they lasted?"

"I'm sure they're dead-"

"I meant the music's longevity."

"Oh." Andi slumps forward, pushing the strap of her vest back onto her shoulder. "I think they were rediscovered with the finding of the Arts cache about half a century ago on Venus."

Crow sits up. "They found this on Venus."

"As part of a late 20th century data cache." She grins at him. "Someone in the Golden Age clearly wanted to save these for posterity."

The reluctance in Crow's response to that makes Andi tip her head. "Do you not like my tunes?"

Crow distracts himself by rolling up his shirtsleeves, avoiding eye contact. "It's not what I'd pick myself…"

"Oh. Oh ok." She stands up, grin threatening to split her face. "Any requests?"

"I don't know any artists!"

"Well then." She begins to walk back over to the fire. "Do some research."

Crow grumbles and rolls to his feet, stretching.

"Good nap?"

Crow looks to his shoulder, spotting Glint having floated over to perch there. "I wasn't asleep."

"Weren't you?"

He shakes his head. The Ghost's shell contracts a little in thought. "Are you sure? You were like that for a very long time."

"I can assure you I wasn't asleep."

Andi calls over from her spot by the fire, tone playful. "So you could have helped me clean the Taken gunk off your armour."

Crow spins around. "You said you were fine when I offered to help."

She laughs. "Crow. I'm joking. I'm just glad you got to relax."

He sighs and wanders over to sit on an old crate. "Do you enjoy winding me up?"

"Only a little." Andi pauses, face falling. "Do you not like it? I'll stop if you want me to-"

"No no, I can take a little ribbing, don't worry."

Andi looks rather relieved and goes back to checking her cloak. The song changes on her little speaker pod and she frowns. "Oh no, not a dirge…" she looks around. "Tink?"

"Hmm?" Her little Ghost barely moves from his spot in a clump of grass.

Andi peers over. "Could you move the song on?"

"I could… I may not."

"Tink…"

The voice sounds annoyed from its comfy grassy nest. "Do I have to move?"

Andi frowns at him and is about to say something when Glint heads over to the speakers. "I can change it for you, Andi."

"Thank you, Glint. The one useful person here."

Crow looks up at her like a kicked puppy, while Tink just laughs and rolls over lazily. Andi blinks at Crow and smiles. "I'm kidding, hun."

At the utterance of the pet-name, Crow can feel his chest tighten warmly, corners of his mouth quirking. "I would help if you let me, you know."

"I know."

Glint has managed to move the song on, jolting back as the starting chords blare out from the little speakers. "Oh my goodness- that's- I'm turning that down a little…"

Crow peers around Andi. "Surprise you, Glint?"

"It was just- it was a little loud."

Andi goes over and pats Glint affectionately. "I'm sorry. But Cyndi Lauper is like that."

There's a little call from the grass tuft. "She shouts to have fun. Like all the girls she sings about."

Andi turns around and frowns. "I feel rather attacked."

Crow puts a hand to his mouth, coughing to hide a laugh. Andi puts her hands on her hips. "Look, you can't dance to things that don't bop! This is prime dancing music!"

"Why dance at all?"

Andi stares at him, looking horrified. "Blasphemer!"

Crow throws his hands out. "No matter how you try, you won't get me dancing."

The 80s synthpop beeps as Andi makes several noises of disdain, hands waving about before she rushes over to him."Bu- you- it's- it's tradition!" Crow hurriedly leans back but doesn't manage to avoid Andi grabbing his face. "It's in your heritage!"

Crow speaks through squished cheeks, eyes wide. "Heritage?"

"Yes. You have to dance! To celebrate and rub it in their faces." She starts laughing as she speaks, causing Crow to giggle.

"You may dance all you like, Andi. I'll just watch."

Andi pats his cheek lightly. "Oh no you won't." She gets up quickly and rushes over to her speakers, bringing up the small menu and flicks through it.

Crow's brow draws down and looks to Glint who flies over, mirroring the look as best he can.

Then a cry of success as Andi waves away the holographic menu and a much less energetic song begins to play. She turns on her heels slowly and grins at Crow before sashaying over.

Crow's confused expression drops as the realisation hits him. He shakes his head and waves a hand. "Oh, no. No-"

"This is starting simple! Slow dancing." She stops in front of him and holds a hand out. "Can't expect you to start with Riverdance."

Crow glances at her hand then back to her. "What's Riverdance-"

"Don't change the subject." She wiggles her fingers. Crow sighs, looking at the floor for a few moments before peering back at her.

"You won't leave me alone until I do, will you."

"Nope. Got a whole playlist of this."

Crow stands, rolling his shoulders and reluctantly takes her hand. Andi makes an excited noise, beaming. "Ok! Ok, it's simple. Very simple."

She pulls him to a slightly clearer spot and stands in front of him. "You hold my right hand with your left and your right hand-"

"- goes on your waist. I know." He gently holds her hand to the side with the movement of someone for which this wasn't novel.

Andi blinks. "How?"

"How do I know how to fly a ship?" Crow tips his head. "And how do I know that I'm supposed to bow before this?"

She just stares at him, not answering as she clears her throat and rests her left hand on his shoulder, noticing the small hesitance in Crow placing his hand on her waist.

And she suddenly feels her stomach drop. "We don't have to, it's not-"

"We're here now." Crow looks at her, almost reassuringly. "And there's no one around to embarrass myself in front of."

"Really, we don't. I was just joking-"

"Andi." He practically glares at her. "Teach me how to dance."

Andi's breath catches in her throat. "I only know a very basic version."

"Then tell me the basic version."

Andi nods minutely and looks at their feet. "So, uh… your left foot comes towards me as I go back-" she steps back with her right, Crow following precisely. "- and then you step to the right with your… right foot."

He does so, and preemptively brings his heels together. Andi looks down and laughs. "Sure you've not done this before?"

"I wouldn't know. I could have." He steps back with his right, waiting for Andi to follow. Andi returns her gaze to meet his.

He's smiling. "Left foot forward."

Andi steps forward.

He closes his heels. "And together."

She brings her heels together.

"And go again." Crow continues, Andi mirroring him, each step placed exactly as they end up dancing a rudimentary waltz.

Glint floats by the speakers, finding the slower music a little more pleasing to listen to. But as he watches the two lightbearers, he can't help but feel a little uneasy.

"How complicated will this be?"

Glint turns to look at Tink who has groggily floated up from his resting spot. "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean…"

Glint drops a little, shell drooping. "It's… yes. Yes I do."

Forward, side, together. Step, step, stop. Perfect synchronisation and placement as they retread their footsteps, barely apart.

It began to feel completely natural and familiar, as if they'd always danced together this way.

Andi laughs quietly. "I was supposed to be teaching you."

"It seems I already know the box-step."

"Is that what this is?"

"Mhmm." Crow adjusts where his hand is resting on her waist, sliding around to rest on the small of her back bringing them closer together. "But I have some bad news…"

She regrets suggesting this as Andi is very sure Crow can now feel her heart pound against his own ribcage through hers. "Why?"

"This music." He looks over her shoulder towards the speaker, mouth mere millimetres from her ear. "It's not the right time signature."

Andi blinks and stops, turning to look directly at him. "What?"

"A waltz, which this is, is in 3/4 time. The song is 4/4."

Andi feels her cheeks go bright red. "... Fuck."

"Hmm."

She looks down at them both, chests pressed together and finding that she wished he hadn't noticed the goddamn time signature. "... Well, that was a waltz, apparently."

He isn't stepping away. "Which I already knew," he pauses. "Apparently."

They stand in silence, not noticing how they have begun to sway to the rest of the song. Their joined hands slowly fall to rest between them as their eyes rove over each other's faces trying to find an explanation. An answer. A hint. Anything.

Eventually, it's Crow that speaks very softly. "I don't mind this one."

Slowly moving her hand into the well of his neck, Andi tears her gaze away from the patterns of light gently rippling over Crow's skin to their hands. "The dance or the song."

Crow runs his thumb carefully over her knuckles, keeping his eyes down. "Both."

He focuses on the motion, thumb moving back and forth across her pale skin, catching the smallest of callouses and scars.

Crow hates how much he feels he has to withhold, speaking with thinly veiled intent to mask such soul wrenching fear of doing or saying anything that could push her away. And all this... without knowing anything about the person she saw when he stepped forward at the shrine.

He never wants to see that look on Andi's face again.

Risking a glance, his golden eyes flick up as if to make sure she's still there despite feeling her against his skin.

Andi is just watching him, almost as if she's been stunned. He'd believe it if he couldn't feel her breathing, kept steady as if she's forcing calm on a tumultuous sea.

However long they stand in silence, it is nothing compared with the cacophony of apprehension that now hovered around them, both hoping the other would give them the answer to that 'something' they weren't aware they had asked.

Their foreheads meet, the hold on each other's hand tightening to pull closer, allowing their lips the lightest of touches.

It was enough.

Andi slides her hand to cup the back of his neck, gently brushing his lips with hers, still tentative as she waits for him to respond. As soon as he does, she feels the flutter in her chest explode, relief and tension in equal measure.

Letting go of her hand, Crow caresses her cheek in an act of controlled restraint, wishing he could immediately scoop her up and hold her as close as it was possible to be. But as if she could hear his thoughts, Andi wraps her arms around his neck, sighing into the kiss as she blocks the blaring thoughts that attempt to sabotage this moment.

The music had stopped a while ago, the sound returning to far off gunfire echoing around the valley, offset with the gentle hum of dragonflies.

#destiny 2 #The Crow #crow and the guardian #andi #thought I'd post this because fuck it #fic

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fillogree · 5 years ago

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So @ifsomebodyhadsomegarlicbread requested some medical Roman angst, & I wanted to try my hand at it. This fic is simultaneously longer & shorter than I want it to be, I just hope it's okay.

“And that’s a match!”

Roman removed his fencing mask panting softly, sweat slicked his brown curls to his forehead as he flashed a tired smile to his partner. “Nice job, Adrien!”

The blonde grinned and nodded. “Thanks, Roman. You sure you’re okay, though? I’ve never scored against you that many times. Don’t be going easy on me now.”

The brunette laughed and shook his head. “I may be a little sleepy. Practice ran late last night, but I wouldn’t hold back against you, you’re just getting that much better.”

Adrien beamed up at Roman and nodded. “Then you better get plenty of sleep for our next match, I want to face you again in top form!”

Roman laughed and patted his sparring partner on the shoulder. “Consider it done.”

In the locker room however, Roman was a frantic mess. He was scrambling to get his fencing gear put away while firing off a text message to the leader of his theater troupe.

‘omw’ he managed to type, pushing send with his nose as he zipped up his duffle bag.

“Okay, lets see.” Gear packed, phone, wallet, keys—” Roman tugged open his backpack, thumbing through folders and paperclipped sheets. “Script, creative writing assignment, apron.. okay good!” He threw both bags over his shoulder and raced out of the locker room. He darted down the hallway, zigzagging between other students, offering apologies as he ran. He was grateful to have secured a position with a local theater company for work. He had been in two local plays in the past few months and was excited to be rehearsing for another, but between two jobs and university, he was getting a bit tired.

Roman hopped out of his car as he arrived at the studio, ignoring the growling in his stomach. He snatched up his backpack and bolted inside. His current role was that of a watchmaker in the city of Avalon a city filled with gears, cogs and machines. His character Hector was distraught, because his services were required all over town, but he could never sit and work on his cuckoo clocks at home. It was feeling Roman felt all too familiar with.

As Roman ran through his lines with his scene partner, he couldn’t help but notice a pinprick of pressure beginning to form between his eyes. He was probably getting a headache due to not eating all day, and he made a mental note to eat his granola bar he had stashed away on his way to work. He pushed through it even as they pain became a bit more persistent as he ran through his lines with the rest of the troupe. He stumbled over a few lines as the pressure began to build. Thankfully rehearsal was called a bit early and Roman managed to say his goodbyes.

Once in his car Roman couldn’t help but frown at the growing pressure. He felt a little dizzy but tried hard to push the feeling away as he pulled away from the studio and headed down the road. By the time he pulled up to the café his head was throbbing. The brunette found himself squinting, brow furrowed as he tried to push the pain away. He pulled open his backpack, tied on his work apron and pushed through the door of the café. He instantly regretted it.

The synthpop music that was blaring over the speakers felt entirely too loud, and the overlapping chatter of everyone enjoying their drinks and sweets was near deafening. He shut his eyes tight for a moment but that just pinched the muscles in his face and sharpened the pain. Sighing heavily Roman made his way back behind the counter anyway. He carefully guided one of his co-workers into the back room, slumping into a chair.

“Taz, please tell me you or Tucker have something for my head.”

The younger male grimaced, sucking air between his teeth as he shook his head, softly. “Tess drove us today and was in a hurry, so we forgot our bags in his car.”

Roman groaned pressing the balls of his palms to his forehead, “There are five of you and none of you carry anything for migraines?”

“Maybe caffeine will help. Your shift doesn’t start for another 10 minutes, so let me make you a latte.”

Roman nodded, waving the younger male off before burying his face back in his hands. He had 6 hours to plow through on register, and then a paper he needed to go home and write. His head continued thudding on, but curiously Roman noticed shaking in his fingers. He pulled his hand from his face, squinting at the light and looked down at his hands, they were trembling now.

His heart began to pound a bit faster. What exactly did this mean? He went to stand up, but felt his legs trembling too, and quickly sat back down.

“T-T-Taz..” Roman frowned. As he tried to speak it felt as though he had to force the words out, the hard stutter a result of them gripping his tongue and almost refusing to leave his mouth. “I-I think I need t-to go to the h-hospital..”

Taz came back with Roman’s latte to see him in full body muscle spasms his arms and legs shaking and bouncing wildly. “Roman? What’s wrong?”

“I-I don’t know.. g-get help.”

Virgil stared at the unknown number blinking across his cell phone's home screen. He didn't like having his music interrupted, particularly by unknown numbers. With a heavy sigh he clicked the answer icon & put the phone on speaker, muting himself quickly. He wasn't in the mood for any telemarketers today.

"Hello, this is Rosa calling from North Community Hospital, may I speak with Virgil Grimments, please?"

Virgil’s eyes widened, and he felt his heartbeat quicken reflexively. He took a deep breath and unmuted the phone. “Speaking.”

“Virgil? As I stated, this is Rosa. We have a Roman Pierce here in the hospital, you were listed as his emergency contact. Can you come in?”

Virgil’s pounding heart plummeted to the pit of his stomach as he nodded, clutching the phone tightly to his ear. “Is he okay? What’s going on?”

“He’s okay, it doesn’t look like anything too serious, but we would like you here at your earliest convenience, to discuss his health.”

Virgil continued nodding despite himself, the butterflies in his stomach flapping their wings wildly. “Yes, yes of course. We’ll be there soon.”

Virgil pocketed his cell phone and all but ripped his door off the hinges, taking the stairs up to the living room two at a time. “Pat! Patton!”

Patton jolted upwards from his position in the couch, pausing the cooking show he was watching. He turned around to see a disheveled Virgil, his eyes wide with worry. “Hey Virgil, what’s wrong?” He asked making his way over to him.

“Ro-Roman’s in the hospital. I dunno what happened. We have to go.”

Patton nodded making his way over to Virgil and cupped his hands. “Okay, we’ll go right now. Deep breaths, okay? Did they say what condition he was in?”

“They said it wasn’t too serious, but they needed me there right away.”

“Okay, okay. So, it’s nothing serious. He’s at the hospital surrounded by people who are qualified to take care of him. So, he’ll be alright, we’ll leave right now, okay? Did you call Logan?”

Virgil shook his head as Patton slowly released his hands, taking deep breaths to calm his rising worry. He watched as Patton grabbed his hoodie, and cell phone before scampering into the kitchen. “You go call Lo and I’ll meet you in the car, okay?”

Virgil nodded, pulling up Logan’s number on his phone as he headed out the front door. Logan answered on the second ring.

“Virgil. Normally you’d be resting at this hour, what is it?”

“Ro’s in the hospital, Lo. They said it’s nothing too serious, but Pat and I are headed up there right now. Can you come?”

Logan looked down at the stacks of paper across his desk. He still had tests to grade, essays to examine, and an entire lesson plan he needed to write up by Monday. Still, the health and safety of his partners came before his job.

“Which hospital?”

Virgil gave a sigh of relief, as he relayed what he was told from Rosa, and gave Logan the address. While Roman was of course the focus, he felt much better about heading into a hospital with the two people who helped calm him down the most. What he wasn’t prepared for was to see someone as infallible as Roman in a hospital bed. He stared at his phone after Logan hung up and sighed softly. The others deserved to know too. With much reluctance he unlocked his phone and pulled up his text messages.

‘Dee. Ro’s in the hospital, tell the others.’ That should be enough, Dietrich could let the others know, and Virgil wouldn’t have to be involved.

‘Which hospital?’

‘No.’

‘FamILY only, huh?’

Virgil sneered at the response, something in the pit of his stomach was coiling in on itself. He didn’t want to talk to his ex-boyfriend any more than he had to. The fact that he and Roman were even talking was.. well, Virgil felt a lot of things about the two of them getting along. He took a few more deep breaths and typed his response.

‘You can come over when we get him home.’

‘Thanks for your permission.’

Virgil pocketed his cell phone fighting back waves of nausea as he made his way to Patton’s car. The sight of the pastel blue Volkswagen helped to lighten his mood. Patton had decorated the car with tons of bumper sticker and his back window was home to several plush kittens. It was hard to be upset in Patton’s car; it was almost a rule. He waited by the passenger’s side door as Patton came rushing outside, clutching a canvas backpack in his arms.

“A change of clothes, a puppy plushie, and some shortbread cookies.” Patton explained as he handed the bag over to Virgil, unlocking the car.

“You think he’ll be there overnight?” Virgil tried to keep the growing concern from creeping into his voice.

“Hopefully not, but it never hurts to be prepared, right? And if he does come home today he’s got everything he needs for a cozy nap.”

Virgil nodded, trying to relax against the seat as Patton drove.

Logan couldn’t stop tapping his foot as he waited in the lobby. He had arrived at the hospital as quickly as he could, triple checked Roman’s room number, and tried very hard to distract himself by reading over a few articles on his tablet. He tried to tell himself his partner was fine, that he’d see his smiling face in a few minutes, and they’d all go home together. He couldn’t be certain though. He didn’t have all the facts. What he did know was Roman wasn’t being held in the ICU, so his condition wasn’t that bad. He did know the woman who spoke to Virgil said his condition wasn’t serious, and more than anything he was positive Roman had insurance because Logan signed him up for it. With the facts he did have in place there was a very high percentage rate that Roman was fine. However, the bit of him that craved certainty didn’t like to be dwelling on the unknown.

“Logan!”

Logan stood up instantly and felt his worry subside seeing Patton and Virgil approach. Patton threw his arms around him and Virgil gave a soft smile, gently touching his shoulder.

“Which room?”

“413, let’s go.”

Quietly Logan and Patton reached for Virgil’s trembling hands as they walked towards the elevators.

“He’ll be alright.” Logan said softly.

Virgil stood timidly at the door as Patton lead the way inside and Logan brought up the rear.

“Hey there, handsome. You doing okay?” Patton asked giving Roman’s hand a gentle squeeze. Roman turned his head to look at Patton and gave a small smile.

“A p-prince is always fine.” He croaked.

Patton chuckled, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on Roman’s forehead. “Always, huh? So what are you doing in here? Wooing all the nurses?”

“I-I would n-never. N-not when I have s-such amazing boyfriends.” His voice was a low rasp, the stutter only making him sound feebler. Virgil clutched at the front of his jacket just at the sound of him. Logan gave his hand a gentle squeeze, encouraging him to step into the room.

“There they are. T-tall, dark and broody and Ti-85. What are you all doing here?”

“Virgil received a phone call earlier, apparently we need to have a discussion in regard to your health, Roman.”

The usually lively and boisterous male sunk lower into his hospital bed, pulling the blanket up to his nose. “N-noo..” he whined pitifully. I’m fine..”

“Evidently not.” Logan chided, gently as he ushered Virgil inside. “So, care to explain?”

As Roman opened his mouth to protest a nurse stepped into the room. “O-Oh, I wasn’t expecting such a full house.” She laughed softly. “I’m assuming one of you is Virgil?”

Virgil shuffled awkwardly and gave a small wave to the nurse. “That’s me.”

“Oh, good. Do you mind if I speak with you out in the hallway?”

Virgil shook his head as Logan came to stand behind him. “If this is to discuss Roman’s current condition, I would like to be present as well.”

The nurse nodded, ushering the two of them outside. Patton stayed put at Roman’s bedside, humming softly as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“You gave all of us quite the scare, you know. Virgil was a mess when he got the phone call.”

Roman glanced away, smiling sadly. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Mmn.. For what, kiddo?”

The door to the room was opened once again and Virgil pushed his way through looking equal parts irritated and heartbroken. Patton glanced up in confusion to see Logan beckoning him out into the hallway.

“What the hell, Princey?” Virgil fumed once the door was closed. “Are you serious? What’s all this about you not eating? You almost passed out at work? What are you doing?”

Roman flinched and tucked further into the blankets. “I-It was just o-one day..”

Virgil raised an eyebrow giving his boyfriend a hard stare. “Go Ahead and say that again. Look me directly in the eye and tell me this is the first time you’ve been skipping meals or ignoring your headaches. She said your blood sugar was so low it was a wonder you hadn’t fainted yet. How is that possible in just one day, huh?”

Roman pouted refusing to meet Virgil’s heated stare.

With a heavy sigh Virgil knelt at Roman’s bedside and clutched his hands. “Why, Ro? Is something wrong, are you.. Do you need to see Emile?”

“Do I..? N-No. No. V-Virgil I’m not..” Roman swallowed, turning away from him, his bottom lip trembling slightly. “I-I didn’t want you to see me like this.. I just. Between school, and clubs and work I forget to eat sometimes, and it’s usually not a big deal, b-but then today the migraines came a-and it got h-hard to talk, and I was so scared, but.. I didn’t.. I didn’t want to let anyone down.”

“Let us down? Roman, how—”

“You all were s-so proud when I got this acting job, Logan even took off work to see my performances, you fought through your social anxiety for me. B-but I didn’t want to walk out on the café, or any of my clubs when things got too busy, but I-I’m so tired Virgil.. I’m just so tired all the time, but I can’t just quit or give up, so..”

Virgil sighed and gave Roman’s hands a squeeze, pressing his forehead against his.

“Roman, I am proud of you. There’s nothing you could do or not do to make me not be proud of you. You’re.. You’re always so confident and charismatic and you work so hard and you’re talented at so many things, it’s amazing. I admire you for that. But even if you only did one of the things you’re good at, or dropped them all, my feelings wouldn’t change, and neither would any one else’s. Now I’m going to tell you something that’s hard to hear, but you need to learn to put yourself first.”

“I know..” Roman sniffled softly.

“No, you don’t. I know you don’t or else you wouldn’t be here. Roman. You need to put yourself first. If you are tired you take a break. If you haven’t eaten you stop, and you eat. If anyone has anything bad to say about you taking a break or working fewer hours they can answer to Pat. You need to find what your boundaries are, and don’t let others cross them, not even yourself. Give yourself some time, okay?”

“When did you become the therapist?” Roman chuckled, wiping his eyes.

“When you encouraged me to go see one. It really helped, now’s my turn to help you. Take care of yourself.”

“Well spoken, Virgil.” Logan said from the doorway. The two jumped as Logan and Patton returned. Patton’s arms were crossed but there was concerned softness in his eyes.

“I’m packing you more snacks, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me, got it?”

“I will help you come up with a suitable schedule, so you don’t run into this issue again.”

“And I’ll text Remus your every location to check up on you in the most embarrassing way possible if you don’t listen.”

“We’re here for you Roman, you don’t have to do it all on your own anymore.”

Roman nodded and gave a soft smile. “I love you guys, thank you.”

#mine.txt #sanders sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders

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thatwitchrevan · 5 years ago

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hey guys! I’m kind of in the mood for some music recs, so if anybody has some songs or artists that you really wish people would listen to throw them at me and I’ll try to check them out! I like lots of things, indie and popular, in almost any genre. I’m not typically into country (at least mainstream, tractors-and-whiskey country) but that’s about it.

I will say that I tend to like sub-genre pop (like electro or synthpop, dreampop, etc), dark and broody stuff (like Billie Eilish, Broods, Daughter), and rock/punk, but I’m always trying to branch out. Any language is cool, too! Just please try to suggest things I could find on Spotify or YouTube. If you give me specific song suggestions I’m more likely to listen to it sooner (just give me a warning if there’s any content in your suggestions that most people would consider triggering, esp related to depression). And if you want an idea of what I already like or just want to follow me or smth, my spotify is e.g.raynor. If you do follow me I’ll probably follow back and check out your public playlists if you have any!

thanks!

#personal #dammit spotify

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taste-in-music · 6 years ago

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Music Monday (4/22/19)

I didn’t do one last week, but there was a shit ton of awesome music released recently that I want to talk about so let’s a-goooo...

New Releases

MakeDamnSure by Stand Atlantic: This song might not be a rocking banger like Lavender Bones or Bullfrog, but this punk ballad, (I think that’s a good way to put it,) still has lots of bite and energy. Bonnie Fraser’s voice gets wonderfully raw and powerful at parts, the production features a twinkling keyboard line, and the lyrics cut deep. Check it out if you want to get a little emo.

god bless our souls by Morgan Saint: Morgan Saint hasn’t dropped a single since last year, so this was exciting to see. Another stripped back entry on this list, with little but a subtle instrumental, some percussion, and Morgan Saint’s delicate, reverb-swathed vocals. This song feels like a dark, twinkling night sky, if that makes sense. Hopefully Morgan Saint has more material to release this year, because her music is really cool. She’s going to be opening for LÉON on tour, so go and check if they’re playing near you and see them. I won’t be able to go, but that sounds like an awesome show to see.

Gloria by Jain: The French pop singer returns with yet another energetic track with a multicultural feel. With hand claps, punchy synths, and breathy flutes peppering the instrumental, this song is so much fun to listen to, and will make you want to dance.

Social Cues by Cage The Elephant: The new Cage The Elephant album is here! I absolutely adore Tell Me I’m Pretty, so I’ve been on the edge of my seat for a new release. This song is one of my favorites off the new album, with a swaggering groove and dusky vocal delivery that Cage The Elephant have perfected, ensuring that their music has a timeless quality to it that will never fade.

Roadhead by Gus Dapperton: Another album that I was hyped for came this week in Where Polly People Go to Read! The album is buzzy, eclectic and cohesive, driven by Gus Dapperton’s unique vocal delivery and signature flare that always keeps me returning to his music. This song in particular has lots of swishy synths and a hypnotic feel, if not some more mature lyrics. Check out the album, and check out this song, it’s a really interesting listen.

Does Anybody Know by Jade Bird: Can you believe there’s yet another album I’ve been anticipating to talk about? Jade Bird, my artist of the month, finally dropped her debut, and it is amazing, it was hard to pick one song to put on this list. The album is full of slapping rock tunes with rollicking energy, but it also has a fair share of softer moments as well. This song is an example of that, with a simple plucked guitar and Bird’s stupendous vocals. She just has so much range, going from raspy to gentle and from powerful to quiet in an instant. Listen. To. Her. Album!!!

Other Favorites

Church by Aly & AJ: Who knew that in the year of our Lorde 2019 that Aly & AJ would me making amazing synthpop music? (You know who? I knew, I’ve been stanning them for years.) This song is bound to be your new laid-back summer jam, complete with cool, glossy production and ear pleasing vocal layering. This kind of vibe takes me back to their 78violet days, with the track Hothouse, (which is also amazing, btw, check it out. It’s yet another great swoony summer bop.)

Day 1 ◑ by HONNE: I’m hooked on this song! I started listening to HONNE’s music after seeing them in the Lollapalooza lineup and this track was an instant favorite. Andy Clutterbuck’s vocals remind me of Michael Bublé, and the production is so fun and springy. I’d call this song leisure pop, it’s the perfect song to take an upbeat stroll to, definitely give it a listen.

Outside by MorMor: I came across MorMor while scrolling through the articles in a magazine online, and boy am I glad that I decided to check him out, because I’m hooked on his music. If you’ve been looking for a new indie-pop obsession, give this song a listen, it’s great.

Also

youtube

Billie Eilish released a super dope music video in collaboration with Takashi Murakami that you should definitely check out if you’re into animation. I know I am, so I was hyped to see that she released it on YouTube!

#new music #music recommendations #stand atlantic #morgan saint #jain #cage the elephant #gus dapperton #jade bird #aly & aj #HONNE #mormor #billie eilish #taste in music #taste in music monday

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wernerherzogs · 6 years ago

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many thanks to @jlf23tumble for coming up with a great meme, and to @setsailtomorrow for tagging me! here’s 10 songs that i love (spotify) -- newer and older -- all sung by solo female artists, or bands with a female vocalist. in no particular order, featuring covers, and a couple of different languages:

1. big thief -- pretty things [spotify/youtube]

love a good sexy song. love a sexy song that isn’t necessarily always overt with sexual language (although at times it’s. quite overt. to be fair.), but is still like. completely, absolutely sexy, from the lyrics, to the instrumental, to the overall Mood. i’d kill for harry to cover this. dedicated to d*ddy kink fans for obvious reasons, lmao and rip.

2. lhasa de sela -- el desierto [spotify/youtube]

an oooooold fave. since i don’t speak the language, for a long time i didn’t even know what the lyrics said (until one day i decided to google to check if the translation was available. it was), but still loved it a lot even without that knowledge. just gorgeous.

3. dalida -- bang bang [spotify/youtube]

if you’re a françois ozon or a xavier dolan stan, you probably know this cover, but if you’re not, you probably might not be aware that it exists. in which case, GOOOOO.

4. monika brodka -- wszystko czego dziś chcę [spotify/youtube]

a great polish artist, here singing a cover of an older song of another female polish artist, giving it a delicious modern synthpop twist.

5. wolf alice -- blush [spotify/youtube]

they’re such a LONDON band, but the lead singer is a woman. LOVES IT. i have maaaany faves, so here’s just like. literally only one of them.

6. tash sultana -- harvest love [spotify/youtube]

a nonbinary australian singer-songwriter and multi instrumentalist, pretty much A GENIUS. if you think ed sheeran is good with a looping pedal, think AGAIN. like. damn. they’re just unreal.

7. brandi carlile -- harder to forgive [spotify/youtube]

been (FINALLY) catching up on her discography lately! “the joke” and this one are my current faves, i think. the lyrics are a killer, and then there’s THE BRIDGE AND THE OUTRO. gah.

8. natalie merchant -- golden boy [spotify/youtube]

another ooooooold fave that gained a new, special, additional meaning on the day i discovered harry styles. it remains my, like, no 1 ~meta harry styles(tm) song. and i just love it in general. it had meant A Lot before harry, and Ever Since Harry it’s just been giving me even MORE feelings.

9. chelsea wolfe -- flatlands [spotify/youtube]

an old fave, both the artist herself and the song. check out those gorgeous STRINGS in the live yt version, tbh.

10. emm gryner -- pour some sugar on me [spotify/youtube]

how about another COVER. because i love covers, and especially those that aren’t a 1:1 copy of the original, and also i wanted my list to both begin and end with A Sexy Song. enjoy.

(tagging my girl @dumbbestfriends -- if she wants to! -- and also anyone who wants to do this. share your results and tag me in them, please!)

#music #meme #personal #playlist #ish

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vyragosa · 7 years ago

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ship ask: them lilac and burgundy swords

ah i see you’re a person of culture as well…………

who hogs the duvet: muramasa, hides under and once the first time they share a futon/bed it makes tonbokiri quietly grateful that he feels safe enough with him

who texts/rings to check how their day is going: TONBOKIRI feeling guilty sometimes for being overbearing but “better safe than sorry”

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: muramasa! tends to………sometimes do very special ones and “it reminded me of you” gifs that tonbokiri with obviously cherish blessed to be reminded that he stays in muramasa’s every thoughts (as much as he thinks of him)

who gets up first in the morning: muramasa actually but that’s because his nights are very agitated and he gets restless in the middle of the night needing(or thinking he does) very little sleep, tonbokiri begging him to stay death grips that makes muramasa melt

who suggests new things in bed: actually? tonbokiri, muramasa is a flushed mess just being pushed on a bed never expecting tonbokiri to do the first move

who cries at movies: BOTH HORRIBLY

who gives unprompted massages: tonbokiri when he’s just standing behind him and noticing how tense muramasa’s back is, in return muramasa is very skilled with hands and that even tonbokiri can’t keep himself from occasionally moaning…which makes muramasa all the more dedicated to easing his tension filled from worries body

who fusses over the other when they’re sick: muramasa! wanting to do his best and staying close instead of letting breathe like tonbokiri does, happily becoming sick too from wanting to cuddle all the more to make tonbokiri feel better

who gets jealous easiest: anyone looking at his lover wrong receives a death stare

TONBOKIRI.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music: while tonbokiri is more into classical old instruments based style and anything with drums muramasa just…listens to synthpop and anything possible

who collects something unusual: tonbokiri hoards everything

who takes the longest to get ready: muramasa in regular honmaru and tonbokiri in modern day au

who is the most tidy and organised: “it’s important to keep both body and possessions in order” muramasa but gets overwhelmed easily and falls into slumps a lot letting things pile up that tonbokiri loves to pick up

who gets most excited about the holidays: TONBOKIRI!!!!! because it means getting out of the citadel/house more and sightseeing holding muramasa’s hand tightly….think of the “being in the snow with my lover fills me with a special feeling, i like it” meme

who is the big spoon/little spoon: muramasa/tonbo….. i can’t really choose who would protect/clutch the other’s back….but muramasa adores tonbo’s back anyway…both in a protective manner since no one protected his but also finding his wide back so comforting…finally having a shoulder to rest on at last

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: THEY’RE BOTH SORE LOSERS THEY REALLY ARE tonbokiri is less vocal about it but will get quietly riled up more and more determinated, but will concede defeat if it does more harm than good (all the time)

who starts the most arguments: well….tonbokiri because muramasa tends to do as he pleases most of the time and goes along the flow a lot but the arguments are mostly tonbokiri being horrendously worried and it ends once muramasa carefully shows that he was in fact, listening and paying attention to everything that was said, excuses and words of reassurance

who suggests that they buy a pet: …….TONBOKIRI, muramasa isn’t quite sure he can take care of a pet since he already has trouble taking care of himself but in the end eh….becomes his spoiled rotten pet instead obviously

what couple traditions they have: doing each other’s hair every morning, a quick kiss whenever either leaves a room, holding pinkies when standing, muramasa’s hands tend to never leave tonbokiri’s face lol

what tv shows they watch together: history and anything about discovering human customs

what other couple they hang out with: ishikari OBVIOUSLY…

how they spend time together as a couple: they don’t need much time together to know the other will be here for them but looking into each other’s eyes at the table of some cafe after a long day at work unbothered by the world, just listening, light laughters and placing a hand in the palm of the other, aimlessly wandering and getting lost admiring architecture muramasa’s arms around tonbokiri’s waist and the later holding his shoulder

who made the first move: TONBOKIRI always knew, always wanted to, but never felt good enough, always put his own desires behind, muramasa never had the guts to but blurts out “i love you” “since when?” “ since forever.” to which tonbokiri responds with a hard kiss of everything he never said

who brings flowers home: MURAMASA a specialist.

who is the best cook: muramasa teaching himself through the sheer power of wanting to see tonbokiri’s smile after cooking something specifically for him

#Anonymous #tonbokiri #sengo muramasa #THIS IS SO FUCKING LONG I MISCACULATED HUFDIGH

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masakunidragon · 4 years ago

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2020 - My Top 10 Music Albums

I don't think I'll do a 2020 year in review this year (I don't think I've done one in a while anyway). It sucked, we all know it sucked, I don't think I need to write some paragraphs explaining why nor do I want my first journal in a while to be such a downer. The music however? At least from where I stand, it was really good.

This is focused on the kind of music I listen to, mainly the goth and industrial side of things, mainly EBM-centric and synthpop/futurepop centric, but also industrial rock and NDH, and pretty much anything adjacent to and between that spectrum as well. So without further ado, this is my top 10!

1. <PIG> - Pain is God

2. Assemblage 23 - Mourn

3. Seeming - The Birdwatchers’ Guide to Atrocity

4. ESA - Burial 10

5. Einsturzende Neubauten - Alles im Allem

6. Renard - Waking Up in a Different World

7. Witt - Rubezahls Ruckkehr

8. Rotersand - How Do You Feel Today?

9. Mono Inc. - The Book of Fire

10. Linea Aspera - LP II

Where I can find them, I have provided links to Bandcamp if you would like to check these artists out, and support them at the same time too. Support your favorite musicians, especially during this time that touring is not possible. Read on if you don't mind a wall of text explaining why I put the top 10 where I did.

The top three was easy for me. Assemblage 23's and Seeming's newest entries could both make a case for the soundtrack of 2020. A23 captures perfectly the anxieties of living in the new normal, while still firing off some of the best futurepop work Tom Shear has done in a little while. Seeming didn't quite hit as much but I still love their way of approaching the year, albeit I think the bulk of it was written before the pandemic? Either way, their melodic and anthemic method of making music shines through here as well as Alex Reed's lyricism, bringing some comfort to an uncomfortable slice of time and also a call to action.

I chose #1 because this is the best work a project that, along with KMFDM, helped me get into this whole genre in the first place have put out in a while, and especially since Raymond Watts reactivated it a few years back; the previous two albums were good but I felt something was missing, turns out that was Steve White. It is 71 minutes of Watts' twisted sermons of human depravity as well as turning the capitalist excesses of organized religion and American exceptionalism on its head (as well as reflecting the hellfire and brimstone of the former back at them), all on the backdrop of intense electronics and Steve White's guitars, and does not get stale for even a single minute. The Swining, Sinsation, and Wrecked were some of my favorite albums; this is right up there, so it has to go to #1 for me.

Figuring out the rest of the list was difficult, there were some albums that couldn't make it, but I tried to go for ones that I keep coming back to. For #4, Jaime Blacker's rhythmic noise project keeps finding ways to top itself, even after the amazing That Beast and the Themes of Carnal Empowerment trilogy; continuing the intensity of those while continuing to weave thought-provoking lyrics and soundscapes through the noise. Neubauten is more melodic and more mellow than they used to be making albums like Halber Mensch or Kollaps, but the DIY ethos is still there and their sound has grown in such a pleasing and mature way these days. There is also the return of half of Wolfsheim in Markus Reinhardt’s Renard (nothing to do with Lapfox, thankfully) project, with guest vocalists standing in for Peter Heppner’s former role (who himself is having a decent solo career), especially the two songs of Marion Gold (of Alphaville fame, the band known for Big in Japan and Forever Young); it is good to see he still has the range after all this time. It also makes me wonder how Wolfsheim would’ve developed if they never broke up after Casting Shadows.

Two great NDH albums take #7 and #9; Mono Inc. continue to get better and better with their style of symphonic, melodic dance-metal. Joachim Witt is four decades removed from his Goldener Reiter hit, and is already in his 70s, but to continue to put out an album like this that is as good as anything on his Bayreuth trilogy, and also hitting the right mix of heavy as well as emotional, is nothing short of amazing. Sandwiched between is Rotersand’s newest, also a great EBM record that, like the band is known for, and the second album since a nine-year hiatus. It’s up there with their best, and weaves dancefloor killers and intense electronics with melodies and slower moments, and even a song like “Hot Ashes” with few lyrics is a great antifascist dance floor anthem. Finally I finish the list with Linea Aspera’s LP II, their sophomore album after a few years and the two members going solo for a bit, which is more synthpoppy and melodic than their first effort. The music of songs like Solar Flare, Equilibrium, and Entropy stick with me, not just the lyrics but the synths as well.

And...there you go! If you read all this way, I congratulate you for weaving through my disjointed nerding out over the kind of music I like. I should do this again next year probably, let’s see how I feel. Thanks for reading and enjoy your new year!

#music #industrial #synthpop #ebm

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lou20orellana · 5 years ago

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My Top 5 Synthwave Songs

Hey guys!

How’s everyone holding up with this social distancing and quarantine we are going through? I know that I’m for sure missing going out and eating Korean food at Bellaire. Hopefully you guys are doing well and just know that together we will get through this!!

This week I wanted to make a blog about songs that give me a spacey type 80’s feeling to them. The inspiration behind that was The Weeknd’s new album, After Hours, but I’ll talk about that later. For now, you guys can distract yourselves for a few minutes by reading my Top 5 Synthwave Songs list, so just like last week, get comfortable, relax, and enjoy the blog!

#5. Odd Look by Kavinshy

If you guys are a fan of The Weeknd and his music, then you might have heard this song before. He did a remix of it on July 24, 2013, where he added his unique clear high notes to it, however, the original song by Kavinshy came out on June that same year. Kavinshy’s style was more synthwave electronic music, and although I personally think that the original songs are always the best ones, this time I feel like the singing that was in Kavinshy’s version was not the best and could have been done better. However, the key focus was the beat of the music in my opinion, which in that case he did an extremely well job delivering.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qT0iQRjHbW4

#4. Tech Noir by Gunship

Gunship, for those of you that haven’t heard of them, is a British synthwave band that was formed in 2014. Just like Odd Look, this song had a remix done by Carpenter Brut, a synthwave artist from France, but unlike Odd Look, I will say that the original song was better (as it tends to always be, just saying...). The music video is also entertaining to watch because its like we are watching a mini 80’s movie that was done entirely out of clay! How cool!

Also, here’s a random fun fact! Tech Noir was the name of the nightclub in the first Terminator movie! Ha, the more you know!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nC5TBv3sfU

#3.Shot at The Night by The Killers

I…love The Killers. They have so many good songs out there, such as, When You Were Young, Mr. Brightside, and Somebody Told Me. Although, the band is classified as being a rock band formed in 2001, the songs from this group feel more like pop rock and indie to me. The song, Shot at The Night is different though, because the style is more like synthpop which makes it very unique in my opinion. The uplifting beat and the singer’s vocals really make the song catchy and puts you in a really good mood. Check it out if you haven’t heard it already!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4YK-DEkvcw

#2. Holding on For Life by Broken Bells

By now, some of you guys might be think “Lou, how the heck do you know all of these bands with weird names, and that I have never heard of before?”…. Honestly, I don’t know what to tell you except…”how do you not know these bands?”…. I think that’s the real question here.

This song, Holding on For Life, actually reminds me of high school when I was in 11th grade, wow, that was a long time ago, 2013 to be more exact. Since then, this song has been a top favorite of mine with its 80’s feel and synthpop. The music video actually shows some form of spacesuits, rocket ships, some aesthetic-ness, and psychedelic-ness (I’m making up words now), very space trippy music if you ask me. I don’t know how else to explain it better, but seriously, put this song on your playlist because it’s a very well composed song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhBewKu80Mg

#1. Blinding Lights by The Weeknd

How can I not include a song that inspired this blog?! If you guys haven’t heard The Weeknd’s new album, I suggest going and listening to it after reading this blog. The Album in its entirety gives a very calm and relaxing vibe, while at the same time making you want to dance.

The song Blinding Lights actually came out before the album, but if you haven’t heard the song yet, don’t worry the link is right below. As you guys might have guessed it already, this song has a very synthpop beat to it, making it feel like its an 80’s song, and making you feel nostalgic. If this song doesn’t make you feel happy, then I don’t know what will.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NRXx6U8ABQ

Since I know you guys are busy people and might want to start listening to these five songs I talked about, I’ll end my blog here.

Once again, I would like to thank everyone that took the time to read what I had to say, and please feel free to leave a comment telling me what song you guys liked or recommend me listening to next.

If for some reason you’re unable to leave me a comment here, feel free to reach out to me through my other social media accounts…and follow!

I hope everyone has a nice day!

Your friend,

Lou

Instagram: lou20orellana

Twitter: lou_orellana

#synthwave #kavinshy #gunship #the killers #broken bells #the weeknd #music #synthpop

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shadyb00ts · 7 years ago

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My Top 12 Favorite Pop Albums of 2017

Man, 2017 was a great year for pop music especially. This year was also when I started actually using Spotify, subscription and all, for the first time, so the new music I discovered just kept on piling up and I was so here for it. I decided I’d compile a top 12 list of my favorite albums, since it’s the end of the year, why not. And yeah I know the “normal” format is top 10, but bitch I have 12 favorites, whaddaya want. And even these I had to really narrow down. If you follow me on Twitter at all though, you probably know exactly what my number one album is. It’s an album that’ll probably be on many people’s number one spots, but I think I’ll do this list descending. This is also only the music that I’ve discovered personally, so if a big pop album/EP from this year wasn’t mentioned, means I either didn’t really like em that much or I have yet to discover them.

#12. BETTY WHO - THE VALLEY

Spotify | iTunes

I actually first heard of Betty Who through Troye Sivan’s song “Heaven” which she featured in. She strikes me as Australia’s equivalent of Carly Rae Jepsen because her songs are all just the completely infectious, bubblegum pop sound that I find irresistible. Some of my favorites from this album are “Mama Say”, “You Can Cry Tomorrow” and “Human Touch”. This is a great album to put on when you’re getting ready with your friends or just wanna jump around and be crazy. If you’ve never heard of her and you’re a pop music freak like me, this album is right up your alley cause it’s chock-full of bops. I’d also recommend checking out her debut album, Take Me When You Go, which has more of the Carly Rae-esque 80s-y feel to it than this one.

#11. TOVE LO - BLUE LIPS (LADY WOOD PHASE II)

Spotify | iTunes

Oh, Tove. What else can I say? If you love pop music then you know exactly why this album made the list and it probably made yours too. She is just the ultimate master of making unapologetically sexual bops. She’s always been very sex positive and seriously, the production on her songs is always spot on as fuck. I’d say “shivering gold” is one of the songs that I keep coming back to the most, as well as “stranger” and the addictive lead single “disco tits”, but this entire album is filled with solid and sultry pop songs that you can pop your pussy to any time. Tove is just always so unabashedly nasty and honest, I always love that about her.

#10. ANNA OF THE NORTH - LOVERS

Spotify | iTunes

One of the indie artists I discovered on Spotify which I’m immensely grateful for. Her music is right up my alley; modern yet very much rooted in dreamy, 80s-inspired synthpop. I pretty much like every single song across the board, but some of my favorites are “Money” which is a really cute song about warning a guy about dating a gold digger, and then “Feels” and the title track “Lovers “ which both just make me drift off into a dreamlike state every time and zone out, and I find most of the songs on this album have the same effect on me. “Dreamy” really is the perfect adjective to describe it. I strongly suggest checking her out if what I’ve described is your thing.

#9. BILLIE EILISH - DONT SMILE AT ME

Spotify | iTunes

I know this is technically an EP since it’s under 10 songs, however I couldn’t possibly skip out of putting it on my list. Billie Eilish is one of the biggest breakout artists of this year I think. I saw a tweet recently from someone who said and I quote, “Whatever ‘it’ is, Billie Eilish has it.” I agree 1000%. She’s got star quality all over her. Looks, talent, all of it. The thing I love about her songs is that her attitude is always present in every one of them. Like in “my boy”, when she’d go “WHAT” or “Alright, dude, go trip over a knife” in between the breaks, and in “COPYCAT” where she does this long, drawn out apology only to top it off with a “sike”. “party favor” is also a very interesting song since it starts off with an answering machine message and it gradually fades into the actual song, and I thought that was such a cool effect; her personality just shines through in her music and that’s what makes her such a star. I have a feeling Billie is going to take 2018 by storm.

#8. DUA LIPA - DUA LIPA

Spotify | iTunes

Yet another new artist who is just oozing with star quality. I had a bit of a slow-to-grow thing with Dua though, for whatever reason. I held off from actually listening to her debut album because I wasn’t really feeling the singles she’d released prior to it. I recognized that she had an incredible voice, but for some reason I just wasn’t warmed up to her enough yet. Enter “Scared to Be Lonely”, her duet with Martin Garrix, which I think is one of the best EDM songs ever made. When I heard that song, I was like okay let me just sit down and listen to this bitch’s album and see what she’s all about. And I was pleasantly surprised. I was surprised at how diverse this album was especially cause she explored a lot of different sounds for almost every song. “New Rules” will always be my favorite, because obviously. That followed by “Genesis” and “Begging” are just a few of the stand-outs for me. Just like Billie, I have a feeling 2018 will also be a big year for Miss Dua.

#7. MUNA - ABOUT U

Spotify | iTunes

God, I am so happy I found this group. I first discovered them through their song “Winterbreak” which I thought was so beautiful and melancholic, I had to dig up more of their songs. Even just thinking about this album gives me a feeling of joy because I just fucking love their music so much. It’s not even something I can explain, you just have to hear it really. The stand outs for me are, well shit, there’s a lot actually. As well as “Winterbreak” I also really love “So Special”, “Loudspeaker”, “I Know A Place” (which I think of as a queer anthem tbh and it is such an empowering, joyful song) and “Crying on the Bathroom Floor” (which has a pretty morbid subject matter but is I think one of the best songs on the album). Please please check them out and support them if you like what they’re giving. I can’t wait to see what they do next cause I am all aboard the MUNA train for sure.

#6. LANA DEL REY - LUST FOR LIFE

Spotify | iTunes

I thought for sure LFL would make it onto my top 5 but it just scraped it. I think when I first listened to the album I was a little too quick to say that it was Lana’s best album to date. I think I was just so wrapped up in the fact that she was back that the excitement and how much I stan for her had me caught up in the moment. I mean let’s be real, even though I do love all her albums, I think most people are in agreement that Born to Die will always be her best. I did really enjoy this album however, especially Lana’s new happier outlook and the fact that she’s a little more political with her lyrics. Even just looking at the album cover, you can tell that she’s in a much better place in her life My favorite song from the album is without a doubt “13 Beaches”, it’s just so stunning and so quintessentially her. Overall I was just happy to hear that she didn’t stray too far from her sound for this album; she’s still unmistakably Lana.

#5. KESHA - RAINBOW

Spotify | iTunes

The long-awaited comeback that at one point I honestly thought would never come. I remember the #FreeKesha movement and how horribly Kesha was treated in the entire case against that monster Dr. Luke. It made me sick how he literally owned her soul at one point, and I’m glad that now despite the fact that she isn’t fully free of his influence, she was at least able to work without him and produced this magical little album. When the video for “Praying” first dropped, I was in tears. In legit tears, because it was the perfect comeback. Her vocals in that song gave me chills, and even though those of us who are massive fans of her have always been aware of her vocal ability, I feel like Kesha always has to constantly prove to the world that she can sing all because for the longest time she was known as “the autotune girl”. While Animal and Warrior were really good albums in their own right and I have a lot of nostalgic affection towards them, I feel like Rainbow was the album she always WANTED to make, just like Joanne was for Gaga. It gave her a chance to truly showcase her talent, which people often forgot or didn’t even know she had. But the thing I love most about this album is that it comes from a place of triumph. I am so proud of my girl. I hope one day she’ll be free of her disgusting abuser and can truly be happy.

#4. ALLIE X - COLLXTION II

Spotify | iTunes

I hesitate to use the word “perfect” a lot of the time, but Jesus Christ I can’t describe Allie in any other way. Even when I first discovered her via her 2015 EP CollXtion I, I immediately described her music as “pop perfection”. Because that’s literally what she does. She takes everything that sounds good about current pop music and makes it her own. She is such a hit maker and it boggles my mind how underrated she is. I think her song “Sanctuary” from her first EP I would even go as far to say as one of the best pop songs I’ve ever heard in my life. IN MY LIFE. In this particular album, every song is a certified bop. “Casanova” is for sure my number one song from it because that production is so flawless it’s criminal. If you’ve never heard of her and are listening to her songs for the first time, make sure to hide your wigs because I’m telling you; they’ll all disintegrate by the time you’ve gone through her discography. Allie X is the real deal, and she deserves WAY more fame and success than she’s getting.

#3. SZA - CTRL

Spotify | iTunes

Okay, yes, I know that technically this is an R&B album, but it would’ve been criminal for me not to put SZA on the list. She joins Billie and Dua as some of the biggest breakthrough artists of the year. I don’t really know why I fell in love with SZA and this album so much, because it’s normally not the kind of music I go for or am interested in. But for some reason I got lost in her gorgeous voice and the insanely crisp production of the songs that I was just hooked the house down boots. Initially my favorite song was “Prom” because it was probably the most pop-sounding song out of the bunch, but it wasn’t long before I grew to love the entire album as a whole, which I didn’t expect to happen since it’s so out of my comfort zone. SZA has this honest way of writing that really cuts deep at times, for example in “Drew Barrymore” when she says: “I get so lonely, I forget what I’m worth / We get so lonely, we pretend that this works” that shit hit hard. It’s REAL. “20 Something” is another one of those songs that anyone in their twenties could probably relate to due its pure honesty. Ctrl was seriously the surprise hit of the year, and I can’t wait to see what SZA does next. I low-key hope her next two albums will be called Alt and Delete.

#2. LIGHTS - SKIN&EARTH

Spotify | iTunes

I have kind of a special connection with Lights. I first discovered her through her song “Savior” back in like, 2010-ish. I was in eighth grade at the time and it was a very tumultuous period in my life. I was in an Islamic school, I had zero friends and I was still coming to terms with the fact that I didn’t fit in with anyone and I never would. I was in a deep depression, and her debut album The Listening helped me through a lot of that period of time. While most people coped with depression through listening to music that mirrored those feelings, I dealt with it by listening to songs that were happy and upbeat. Lights’ songs at the time were adorable and cheerful, sort of akin to if Owl City had a female vocalist. Ever since then, whenever she would release an album, it always helped me out of slumps, and I became really devoted to her. I was obsessed with her follow up albums Siberia and Little Machines, and now Skin&Earth falls into that category. I adore this album, and it’s one of those albums that I have to listen to from start to finish all the time because I just love it so much as a whole. At this point I know she could never disappoint me, and she’s one of the girls I always look to for catchy pop sounds with beautiful lyrics. I love her dearly, and I implore you to go through her catalog if you’ve just now discovered her. She is a true pop gem.

Before we get to the #1 (which I’m sure is pretty obvious at this point), some honorable mentions, most of which are EPs. I’ve attached each of them with their respective Spotify links in case you wanna have a listen to any of em. In no particular order:

Astrid S - Party’s Over (EP)

Monogem - 100% (EP)

Khalid - American Teen (this one almost made the list)

Superfruit - Future Friends (this one too)

PVRIS - All We Know of Heaven, All We Need of Hell

Terror Jr. - Bop City 2: TerroRising

Terror Jr. - Bop 3: The Girl Who Cried Purple (EP)

Sigrid - Don’t Kill My Vibe (EP)

Daniella Mason - Daniella Mason (EP)

Echosmith - Inside a Dream (EP)

Phoebe Ryan - James (EP)

Charli XCX - Number 1 Angel

Fickle Friends - Glue (EP)

FRND - In Your Dreams (EP)

Paramore - After Laughter (another one that just scraped the list)

Transviolet - Kaleidoscopes (EP)

Zara Larsson - So Good

Lola Marsh - Remember Roses

Thomas Azier - Rouge

Halsey - hopeless fountain kingdom

Ralph - Ralph (EP)

Sabrina Claudio - About Time

Demi Lovato - Tell Me You Love Me

Vera Blue - Perennial

Brother Sundance - Honey (EP)

Fifth Harmony - Fifth Harmony

MØ - When I Was Young (EP)

Stalgia - NOMAD

EMBRZ - Progress (EP)

Aly & AJ - Ten Years (EP)

LP - Lost on You

Mothica - Heavy Heart (EP)

SAKIMA - Ricky (EP)

Ella Vos - Words I Never Said

I highly suggest checking these artists out. Just because they didn’t make the list, doesn’t mean they’re less good; my favorites just sorta overpowered them. Anyways, now that that’s outta the way, onto my not at all surprising number one pick.

#1. LORDE - MELODRAMA

Spotify | iTunes

I told you this was Melodrama. How could I not crown this masterpiece of an album number one? Ever since I first listened to it, I was adamant in saying that it would be THE album of the year and I’ve stuck to that. I strongly believe that it should win the Grammy, and deservedly so, because Lorde really outdid herself with this. I mean, holy fuck. When I first heard Pure Heroine I knew she was a talented writer and that was a great album, but I had no idea she was THIS talented. Melodrama really captured the depth of her ability and also how much she’s grown as both an artist and a person. Pure Heroine was all about teen life and coming of age, it was a very cohesive and uniform album and also a very influential album musically speaking, since Pure Heroine along with LDR’s Born to Die has such a heavy effect on the pop music of today. Melodrama still has some of that Pure Heroine charm but it’s unmistakably more adult, darker and grittier, and maintains the cohesive theme of the rise and fall of a relationship. I don’t know how Ella’s mind works but she writes like a dream. All of these songs are masterfully written, and her and Jack Antonoff make an amazing team. One of the songs in particular, “Supercut”, gives me a very euphoric feeling in a way that it makes me want to dance around while laughing and crying at the same time. It is very reminiscent of my feelings toward Gaga’s song “Gypsy” from ARTPOP. “Liability” is a standout in regards to songwriting also, because a lot of artists like to promote their work as “personal”, but this song and really this entire album is pretty much Ella baring her soul, and that’s as personal as “personal” can get. I’m just really in awe of her talent, and Melodrama deserves to top every “album of the year” list out there. It’s an incredible piece of artistry and I think decades from now it is going to be remembered as a classic.

#pop music #my favorite albums #best of 2017 #pop songs #year-end list #personal faves

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